Simple ways to help you manage your anger

According to psychologist TW Smith, anger is an unhappy feeling that culminates, from being irritated or annoyed to losing temper until uncontrollable rage.

Every day, we can face many unpleasant situations that make us feel angry. Common causes are:

1. Disappointed.
2. Hurt.
3. Sorrow.
4. Injustice, regardless of whether it feels like it or is true.
5. Threatened by others.
6. Unsatisfied.

And many other reasons.

Everyone is angry in different ways and for different reasons. Sometimes, this can cause great discomfort for a person but "no problem" with others and vice versa. That subjective feeling often made the anger "unjust" and uncontrollable.

Harm of anger

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An appropriate level of anger will transmit energy to us to act properly, solve problems and control situations effectively.

However, when you overcome the limit, anger will cause many negative consequences, especially in the work environment. For example, it can destroy relationships with bosses and colleagues , causing members of a group to lose faith and respect for each other. Even if the outburst of anger can make a person "angry" and have unacceptable behaviors. A relationship that has gone through this is often very difficult to heal.

Anger also makes it hard for us to make good decisions and think creatively , resulting in a rapid decline in productivity.

Anger also causes adverse health effects. One study found that people who are angry often are more likely to experience coronary heart disease, eating disorders and obesity. This study also found a correlation between anger and premature death . In addition, being angry, losing your temper is also proven to be linked to feeling or anxiety and frustration.

Types of anger and restraint

Style 1: Easy to explode

Recognize: "If you still throw your shirt in the floor again, I will leave!". When in this state of anger, you often feel "breaking water" , unable to endure more like a volcano that has reached the time of eruption. However, when you "boom", everyone tries to avoid you, nobody wants to touch you.

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If you have never been instructed how to control anger, you will let your anger overwhelm. You can almost never sympathize or forgive the opponent at that time and when the feeling of anger is at its peak, most likely, you will do things that soon, you will have to regret.

How to control:

Dr. Ronald Potter-Efron - angry control expert in Eau Clair, Winsconsin and co-author of "Letting Go Of Anger" said: "Research shows that counterpoint nerve-induced anger lasts less than 2 seconds " . Because of this, in order to control anger, we must make a commitment and can count from 1 to 10 when we feel about a rage.

Master your emotions. When you feel angry, you can say something to be aware of the discomfort, such as " I am really worried about my behavior" which is much more effective than just focusing on action and thinking.

Type 2: Lower yourself

Recognize: "It is my fault. I have nothing at all". You find ways to blame yourself, every time.

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Perhaps, sometimes you feel more angry with yourself than venting your anger to others. However, such negative thoughts can make you more frustrated and in crisis.

How to control:

Each time, you can ask yourself "Who said I was responsible for this?" , "Do I really believe that?" Instead of taking all responsibility, thank yourself for recognizing the root of the problem.

Make a list of good things about you and think of them whenever you intend to blame yourself. Also, find a specialist if you feel you need support.

Type 3: Avoid

Recognize: "I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine . " Even if "there's a burning fireball" in your head, you're still trying to be happy and hide all your angry expressions. It is not a passive aggression that happens when a person tries to hide his or her true feelings, but does not like or is unhappy; anger is expressed through good behavior, good gestures underground opposition to the subject). It is the act of "killing" conflict.

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Women often show anger in this way. They are always courteous, gentle, trying not to be angry because they are afraid of losing prestige, friends, work and making families unhappy.

The main function of anger is for us to realize that something is wrong has happened and promotes reconciliation. If you ignore these signs, you will treat yourself in a very negative way, mistreat yourself and make yourself hurt in order to relieve certain troubles or suffering (self-harm ).

How to control:

Ask yourself: "Is it okay if my staff leaves the room any time they want? Is it okay if he goes out to play sports every weekend?" If you're straightforward, the best answer to these questions is likely to be "It's not okay at all!" Identifying something that's going on is the first step to getting things back to balance.

Imagine a friend of yours who is overworked, mistreated or ignored. What is their most appropriate response? List a list of actions she can take, then wonder why they are okay with her when doing those behaviors.

Talk directly to the enemy - a positive and constructive way. Maybe, they will be surprised or angry with what you say but then you will definitely pass."Avoiding will often ruin family and friendship more than being angry," Potter-Efron said.

Type 4: Sneer

Recognize: "It's okay if you're late. I have time to read the menu up to 40 times" . You do not say it straight but "take a detour" with a half smile.

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People who show anger in this way believe that expressing unpleasant emotions directly may not seem good, so they decide to use indirect methods. If the story becomes tense then it is the opponent's fault, not them. However, in fact, it is you who are making the situation worse than anyone else.

Although you try to cover up your feelings with half-hearted humor, it's a bitter expression that can ruin relationships. Although you try to argue that what others think is ridicule is the humor you use to soothe the tension, but every word you say shows a profound irony.

How to control:

According to Todd: "Sneering is a way of communicating a bit of conflict - passive." So, use words that describe your true feelings, don't try to cover them up. You can say: "I wish you would try to be on time, especially when you all know that we have limited time."

Be clear and definitive, especially for young children. At the same time, if you still can't control your words, then take time to practice.

Type 5: Conflict - passive

Recognize: "Oops. Did I delete all the classic baseball games from Tivo?" You don't try to hide or cover up anger but you express it in a way that looks like that.

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You do not like to fight with others but are not easy to persuade."People began to find ways to hide their anger when they believed they could not fight the opponent," Potter-Efron said. People with a cautious nature will use this type of anger when they feel pushed out of the safe zone.

You are disappointing. The situation gets worse if everyone chooses to behave in such a way.

How to control:

Give yourself permission to be angry. Talking to yourself that hiding your anger is a way to make your mind become tired of pushing things into your body. Always remember a "mantra" that: the definitive is good, while the conflict (whether passive or not) is not good at all.

Find ways to excuse yourself if you're right, such as telling your boss that the workload is too much or you're having problems with your co-worker sitting next to you and need support.

Learn to control, for example, you can find a part-time job if your family's financial situation is in trouble instead of making your relationship more and more stressful.

Type 6: Habitual discomfort

Recognize: "I'm tired because you keep borrowing my pins! Buy it and use it". This reaction seems to have become the default and only disappears when you actively do not show it.

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This habitual anger often comes from having a problem and not knowing how to relieve it or your colleagues being praised, promoted, and superior to you, making you very uncomfortable.

What are the consequences of this? Nobody wants to be near you anymore and you gradually become lonely.

How to control:

Know the reason why you get angry? If you delve deeper into your emotions, you will realize that the root of the problem is not the person borrowing your belongings.

Imagine you are in a peaceful place with cool breezes, waves or any other beautiful setting to keep you comfortable. Use this technique often and you will find your anger will be greatly eased.