How to control anger?
Surely one of us used to be angry once, didn't we? If you are floating in a " grueling battle " then this can harm your physical and mental health as well as your relationship with others. Uncontrolled anger can be caused by signs of other problems such as controlling anger or mental disorders . The important thing is that you need to control your emotions and calm down for the benefit of yourself and those around you. Here are 3 simple ways to moderate anger . Invite you to consult!
Method 1: Find out the cause of the anger
1. Observe the physiological signs of anger
Anger is the natural physiological feeling of each person, related to the chemical reactions in the brain. When we are angry, the amygadala (the amygadala ) is located in the center of the brain where the human emotional triggers are processed, sending the signal to the hypothalamus ( hypothalamus ), which sends epinephrine to the nervous system. automatically through the sympathetic nervous system pathway to the adrenal glands, where an epinephrine ( adrenaline ) pump is carried throughout the body. Besides, Adrenaline also helps the body be ready to face the threat by increasing heart rate and " honing " the senses.
- This process is for biological purposes ( preparing to fight or flee ), if you feel angry, it is very likely that your tolerance to physiological response is too low ( for example, you are angry for copper turn on big music for example ).
2. Evaluate your feelings
Anger is often the result of many different emotions, many times being emotionally depressed, hurt, sad, painful, depressed or fearful. Anger forms as a defense mechanism that makes it easier to handle other emotions. Think about allowing yourself to feel many nuances of emotion or suppress emotions that you think are unnecessary.
- If you suppress anger with other emotions that you can't cope with, try going to a specialist to find out how to handle and accept these feelings.
3. Accepting anger is a completely normal and healthy feeling
Certainly not always anger is bad. Anger is for the sake of health, by protecting yourself from violence or wrongdoing. If you find that someone is hurting you, you will feel angry and that anger reminds you to confront the other person or stop doing self-injury in some way.
- Many people ( mostly women ) are taught that anger is impolite.However, suppressing your natural emotions will cause negative effects on your emotions and relationships with those around you.
4. Observe signs of losing control in anger
Although it is normal to be angry, sometimes it is harmful. You need to solve this problem yourself or get expert help if you find yourself with the following signs:
- Small things like spilling milk or dropping things also make you angry.
- When anger is often rude actions such as yelling, shouting and punching, for example.
- Chronic problems and occur on a regular basis.
- As an addict, when under the influence of drugs or alcohol, temperament will become worse and behave more violently.
Method 2: Control chronic anger
1. Participate in physical activities
The Endorphine produced by exercise helps us to calm down. Physical activity also helps to get rid of rage and deal with anger. Moreover, maintaining regular exercise also helps regulate your emotions. When exercising, focus on thinking about exercises and the body, not minding the thoughts that appear in your head. Here are some appropriate exercise methods to help control anger:
- Jogging or walking
- Lift the weight
- Cycling
- Yoga
- Basketball
- Martial arts
- Swimming
- Dance
- Boxing
- Meditation
2. Get enough sleep at night
Adults need at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night to stay healthy. Lack of sleep can lead to many health problems, including the ability to modulate emotions accordingly. Therefore, getting enough sleep improves mood and calms anger.
- If you have chronic insomnia, consult your doctor. You may need to change your diet or living habits to improve sleep. Also, you can try herbal supplements or take medicine to get more sleep.
3. Keep a journal about your anger
Start writing details about your anger. If you have a loss of emotional control, write them down in your journal. Remember to be specific about how you feel, what makes you angry, where you are, with whom, how you react and then feel. After a period of writing, you can find common points in each article to identify the character, location or what makes yourself angry.
- It can be written: " Today, I feel very angry with a colleague. He said I was selfish because I did not order lunch for everyone. At that time, people were outside the hall, and I was taking a break. After working tense and eating cheese sandwiches in the next restaurant, I was really angry, shouted at him, called his name angrily and then walked away. Now, I feel guilty and ashamed, so I hid in the office until the end of the time . "
- Over time, you can re-evaluate your journal and realize that being said to be selfish will make you angry.
4. Plan your anger control
Once you've found the source of anger, you can plan to deal with them. You can use the anger control strategy listed in Part 1 in conjunction with the if-then assumption.
- For example, you go to the home of your mother-in-law and she says not satisfied with the way you educate your children.You can say: " If my mother complains about how to educate my children, I am very grateful for her concern but I have my own decision on how to teach my children. " Or maybe leave Room, collect furniture and return home if you feel yourself preparing to get angry.
5. Practice expressing anger
People often use manifestations of anger to perceive the needs of both parties in the dispute. To practice assertive expression, you need to keep in mind the relevant facts ( not exaggerating emotions ), asking for communication ( rather than demanding ) in a respectful way, communicating clearly and expressing emotions one by one. effectively.
- For example, you are angry with your colleagues because they open the music too loudly while you are concentrating on your work, you can say: " I know you like listening to music while working but that sound makes me not focus on Can you use headphones instead of playing loud music like that to not affect your colleagues and have a comfortable working environment? "
6. Search for local anger control programs
The anger control program can help you learn how to cope with anger and manage emotions in a healthy way. Moreover, participating in a training class can help you realize that you're not in this situation, many people think that group activities help as well as consult a specialist in some of the best cases. determined.
- To find the right anger control program for you, you can find the keyword on the " anger control class " online plus the name of the city, province or region where you live. In addition, you can add advanced search terms like " for teens " or " for people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) " to find the group that best suits their needs.
- Find the right programs by asking a physician or specialist, consult your self-improvement course at your local community center.
7. Meet a psychotherapist
If anger affects your daily life or your ability to maintain a positive relationship, see a specialist. They can find out the source of the problem and whether the treatment or medication is used. The therapist will use relaxation techniques when you feel angry to help develop emotional handling and communication skills.
Method 3: Control immediate anger
1. Take a break as soon as you realize you're going to get angry
Rest by stopping what you are doing, staying away from things that stimulate you or simply breathing deeply. Stay away from anything that makes you feel disappointed to easily regain calm.
- Remember that you don't need to respond to the situation right away, can count to 10 or even say: " I'll think about this and answer you later " to have more time to do it yourself calm down if needed.
- If you're angry at work, go to your room or go out for a while. If you drive to work, you can sit in the car for your own space.
- If anger is at home, find a private space ( such as a bathroom ) or take a walk with someone you trust to release your mood.
2. Allow yourself to be angry
It is perfectly normal to experience feelings of anger. Give yourself some time, your own space to feel anger can help you accept and pass easily. Once you pass, you can escape anger and understand why you are angry.
- In order for yourself to experience anger, think about the position of anger in your body. Are you angry from the stomach? Or from the hand? Search for anger, let it " throw " and everything will be over.
3. Take a deep breath
If your heart beats because of anger, slow it down by controlling your breathing. Deep breathing is one of the most important steps in mindfulness meditation, making it easier to control emotions. Even if you don't practice " meditation " completely, using deep breathing techniques still has the same effect.
- Count to 3 when inhaling, hold your breath for 3 seconds or longer, then count to 3 and then exhale. Focus on counting the breath count.
- Make sure your chest is full with each beat so your chest and abdomen expand. Then exhale sharply, remember to take breaks between breathing.
- Continue breathing until you regain control of your anger.
4. Imagine "happy place"
If doing these things still cannot regain composure, imagine yourself in an absolute relaxed setting. It could be a childhood playground, a quiet forest, an uninhabited island or a fantasy land - any place that makes you feel comfortable and peaceful. Focus on imagining every detail of this place: light, noise, temperature, weather and scent. Keep thinking about the happy land until you completely immerse yourself in it, pause for a few minutes until you calm down.
5. Practice self-talk in a positive way
Changing the way you think about something negative words become positive ( also known as "cognitive restructuring" ) can help you cope with rage in a healthy way. After you calm yourself down, discuss the situation with yourself in a positive way.
- For example, if you get angry when you go on the road, you can say, " He almost wiped my car, but he must be in a hurry, hoping to never see such a person again. I feel lucky. luckily still alive and the car is still healthy, fortunately I can still continue to drive, can keep calm and focused when returning to the main road " instead of getting angry in the negative direction " Name That idiot almost killed me! I want to kill him! ".
6. Request support from the person you trust
Sometimes, sharing concerns with friends or intimates can help relieve anger. Clearly express what you want from the opponent. If you only need people to listen to, tell from the beginning that you don't need advice or help, just sympathize. If you're looking for a solution, tell the person.
- Set time limits. Give yourself a fixed amount of time to get rid of things that make you feel uncomfortable and follow that, when the time is up everything will end. This will help you keep on going instead of sinking into a never-ending situation.
7. Try to find some funny points in a situation that makes you angry
After calming down and getting ready to overcome anger, try to look at it positively. Finding humor in it can change the body's chemical reaction from anger to humor.
- For example, if someone encroached on the lane you were going to, you might think that they are silly because of that, because they only arrive 15 seconds earlier. You can laugh at that action and return to life as usual.
Refer to some more articles:
- How to improve relationships in just 60 seconds?
- How to quit quickly and effectively?
- 3 ways to behave wisely in criticism
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