Signs you should end a friendship

Not all friendships are good or meant to last. Here's how to tell when a "best friend" feels more like a burden than a blessing.

 

 

You focus more on what's wrong than what's good.

Basically, a friendship should end when it does more harm than good. So instead of enjoying your friend's company or appreciating them for who they are, you find yourself obsessing over everything they did wrong or upset you.

Focusing too much on these negatives often means resentment builds up and eventually turns your relationship into something more stale and unsupportive. In practice, this can manifest as ruminating on past grievances or automatically interpreting their behavior in the most negative light possible. You immediately assume their sarcastic jokes are meant to hurt you, or decide they don't care about you just because they didn't check in on you during a bad week. You may also start to find that once-endearing little quirks become annoying and overwhelming as the friendship sours.

 

You are afraid to meet them

Everyone has times when they don't want to socialize - but we don't talk about it. It's a warning sign if spending time with a particular friend consistently makes you feel scared, anxious, or resentful.

There could be a few reasons why you're avoiding them. Maybe you're avoiding their calls, texts, and invitations because you know every time you see them, it'll turn into a heart-to-heart about their relationship problems. Or you're avoiding situations where you might see them again (like a mutual friend's birthday party) because you've grown apart and have nothing in common anymore, making any conversation awkward.

 

Really good friendships make you feel like you can't wait to see them again. You've had a great time. You're energized. So if you're constantly exhausted or frustrated by the time you've wasted with them, this is an invitation to ask yourself, ' Why do I feel this way about someone I call a friend? Why don't I feel this way about other friends? '

You hide a part of yourself when you are with them.

Friendships are supposed to be places where you can let your guard down and be true to yourself. That's why being self-controlled and reserved can be one of the most obvious signs that it's time to end a friendship.

For example, you may find yourself hiding important details from this person—about your career, your relationships, or your struggles—and instead seek support from others. Or you may find yourself dwelling on superficial topics (compared to what's really going on in your life) because you're worried that your deeper thoughts will be judged… or become the subject of gossip. Whatever the reason, hiding your true self can leave you feeling lonely and disconnected, in ways that a solid friendship never can.

You talk about them more than you talk to them.

It's a pretty clear sign that a friendship isn't working when you complain about it to everyone except… your friend.

While confrontation can be bad, wanting to talk things out often means you still care enough to maintain the relationship. So when you constantly talk behind their back in group chats or with your partner, it could be a sign that you're looking for outside validation for your dislike of them—as if you're subconsciously hoping someone will agree that your "friend" is a flaky, messy, and unreliable jerk.

 

You share your feelings but nothing changes.

Let's say you say, ' Hey, I don't like it when you say I'm 'bad' with men ,' or 'I've been feeling like I'm the one initiating conversations lately, and I'd love to see that effort reciprocated .'

A good friend will listen and want to work through those issues, which is why you should pay attention to their response. Do they seem apologetic and understanding? ('Of course, I'm sorry, and I won't say things like that again') or do they just blame and minimize your pain ('Don't be so sensitive. I was just joking'). Healthy friendships are supposed to be flexible, supportive, and caring, which means you shouldn't be the only one who wants to keep the friendship going.