The story is worth pondering about an American mother who teaches her child to be independent: 'Please don't help my child!'

Many parents maintain the idea that because their lives are lacking, they MUST work hard to cultivate their children: to cover them, protect them more, buy more for their children and try Let me be "with them, with you". However, this thought - in modern life - is the trap of "killing" children when they enter adulthood; Because, they lack self-reliance, dependency, weakness both physically and mentally and cannot make decisions even the smallest problems related to themselves.

Perhaps, this is the cause of society now has so many people called "the 30-year-old baby (age 20)" so much!

The story of an American woman who teaches her children below will be a lesson on how to teach children that each of us - parents (or future fathers and mothers) need to ponder.

About the story author : This article was published on Alameda Patch by author Kate Bassford Baker in 2013 and became one of the most prominent articles on this website with over 440 thousand shares. The title of the original article is "Please Don't Help My Kids".

Dear parents are in the park!

Please do not support my daughters on the highest step, especially when you have heard me tell the children that I will not do it and encourage them to try themselves.

I was sitting about 5 meters away from the children and didn't want to stand up because I was lazy, but because I took my children to the park not to let them learn how to ask and help others do their hard work. I bring them here so they can learn to do things themselves. Children do not enter the park to stand on the highest level, they must learn to climb on their own. If you can't do it yourself, they will have to learn to overcome frustration. Moreover, children will learn to set goals and be motivated to try to achieve.

Meanwhile, children can use the ladder. I want you not to limit your abilities and do your best without your mother's help. It's none of my business and certainly not your job - when helping your children avoid feelings of failure, fear and discomfort. If I do, I have robbed you of the opportunity to learn that these are not the end and can overcome or take advantage of your advantages.

If you're having trouble, my job is not to help them immediately. If I do that, I have robbed the child of the opportunity to learn to keep calm, evaluate the situation and try to find a way to solve the problem.

I also have no duty to keep you from falling. If I did, I took the opportunity to understand that tripping was possible but worth the risk and that the children could stand up again after a stumbling block.

I do not want my daughters to think that they cannot overcome obstacles without help.

I don't want them to think that I can achieve sweet fruit without trying. I do not want you to understand that they have the right to enjoy things they do not strive for.

I want my daughters to know the joy of overcoming fear and distrust and achieving success through hard times.

I want my children to believe in their abilities and to be confident and steadfast in their actions.

I want children to accept their limits until they can find their own special power.

I want them to feel the ability to make their own decisions to develop skills, take risks and face their own feelings.

I want you to climb that ladder without any help, no matter how good you are, from others. Because they can do it. I know that. And if I give you a little space, they'll soon get it.

So, I would like to thank you if you step back and let me do my job - mainly to prevent you from helping my child and try to tighten my lips every time I want to "Be careful, baby" and choose choose to stand back - intentionally, painfully, over and over - instead of moving forward.

Because when the children grow up, the steps will only be higher, more frightening and harder to climb. I don't know about you, and I, I will choose to teach my children the skills they need to orient themselves from now on, when each mistake comes with a slight wound and can heal with a bud. kiss. Although, for them, a distance of nearly 5 meters is very close but to me, it was too far for me to run to them.

So, I choose to teach myself to be independent now so that whenever I don't have them, they are still strong enough to stand up and move on.

That's why it is said that "extremely cruel, extremely loving".