How to maintain good family relationships

Families are people who always love, accept, support and help us unconditionally. Unfortunately, many families are now losing these good things just because of the actions of family members, accidentally breaking the harmony in a family. Understanding the cause is the first step in finding ways to solve problems and help us to have a happy family. Here are 6 erroneous actions that destroy family relationships that we need to avoid as quickly as possible :

1. Criticisms and insults

We are always looking for encouragement and support from families, but sometimes there are hurtful, critical words for our loved ones. Words have great power, even in some situations, they are as powerful as the world. When bad words come from family members, they can make them feel hurt. Because families are a source of encouragement and support for us, negative words will naturally spoil family relationships. Some family members say their thoughts and think it is just unconscious, not hurting others. However, the truth of those words hurt others whether they were unintentional or intentional. When family members criticize, criticize each other, accidentally create a gap between them and spend a lot of time and conversation, confidently understanding each other can erase that gap .

When it comes to the more negative words, the bigger the gap between the members of the family, cannot even heal. Any contradiction can be resolved by apology and forgiveness, but the pain in the heart remains forever after. So be careful with your words. Always remember that family is the biggest support in our lives. When saying bad things to family members, it means losing yourself the greatest support. Keep this in mind before speaking to everyone in the family. " If you can't say anything good, it's best not to say anything ."

In the family, if a member does not know how to use the right and proper words, you must set an example and solve the problem right away. Always say good things to motivate, cheer everyone in the family. By doing so, will make everyone in the family want to come closer to you. Of course no one wants to be with people who always make them feel " inferior " about themselves? Help family members find positive points in each person to study.

2. Trading stories

Gossip is also dangerous. We often have a bad habit of talking behind our backs to make us feel uncomfortable. This may make us feel better temporarily but ultimately still can't resolve the conflict between us and that member. If there are conflicts or problems with certain family members, meet and deal directly with them. In addition, it is not necessary to inform the whole family about it because this makes family members choose between two "factions" - you and the other member.

In a family where there are two "factions", the family is divided. Instead, find a member that you have conflicts to discuss and reconcile conflicts with yourself. However, things will go nowhere if you go on stubborn and insist on not receiving errors.

Help them see aspects of the problem when standing from your perspective. Thus, they will warm up their relationship and want to correct the mistake. Moreover, never say bad things about family members. When you see that they encounter things that are not related to you, you should not go and talk to them behind their backs. Always remember: " It's not my business, don't get involved in other people's messy problems ".

3. Lack of cohesion

An Ask Amy article posted online shows that it is clear that we need to consider family engagement . This is extremely reasonable advice from Amy Dickinson in the Chicago Tribute newspaper:

The bond between family members is necessary to create solidarity. You can connect family members together through family gatherings. Even if you know that they will refuse to participate, ask them. Because often, the awkward atmosphere in the family is due to uninvited and non-participation in family gatherings. Therefore, you should invite members to attend meetings or family parties, and whether or not to participate in them is their job. The most important thing here is that they are invited to participate. If you really want to tighten your family bond and friendship between members, make sure all family members are present at family gatherings. Any reason for refusing to participate is unacceptable, as this will create a difficult feeling between family members.

4. The lie

Falsehood can undermine the happiness of a family . The truth is always taken seriously. Sometimes it can take a few years or even a generation to discover a lie, but remember that "the needle in the long day also comes out ". If you can't be honest with your family, who can you be honest with?

Furthermore, a lie can lead to a family breakdown. This disintegration comes from the lost faith itself. The more you lie, the less will it be. There are lies, such as concealing having children from a love affair, for example, will cause loss of trust in family members and leave pain for the next generation.

Misbehavior not only leaves your own consequences, but also for your family and even the next generation. Therefore, it is best to acknowledge your mistake and try to correct it, rather than lying and making excuses for that lie. Don't let lies become a " burden " for you. Be open and honest with your family. If you hurt your family members, you need to apologize and try to correct it, because of the happiness of the whole family. Trying to hide the truth only makes your family more vulnerable.

5. Do not accept the difference

Children grow up under the same roof with their parents, disciplined and educated but when they grow up, it may be completely different from their siblings. You have the difference and the right to be different. Not just because you are a family member but have the same political or even religious views.

People grow up, have different ways of parenting and ways of living, which is not something family members can judge or comment on. Love and acceptance stem from family. If you do not receive love and acceptance from your relatives, you probably do not have a real family.

If there is a prejudice about differences and creating family conflicts because of that difference, the outcome will be a broken relationship in the family. Accepting a person for who they are (no matter how they come from, where they come from) is the last method of love.

6. No apology and no forgiveness

Apologies and forgiveness are the " adhesives " of family members together. Nobody is perfect. At some point, you might end up hurting a family member. That's when you should apologize, gentle words that can heal wounds and help family relationships become stronger. When apologizing to a family member, you want them to know that they are very important and do not want to have negative feelings between you and them.

When you don't apologize to that family member, you are telling them that they are not important or that their feelings are nothing to you. Being unable to apologize to others is a defect in your personality. Be more mature and apologize when you do something that is not, whether it is accidentally or intentionally. It is important that you apologize and explain everything, absolutely do not make someone feel unjustly treated.

When accepting apologies, be forgiving "graceful", because each family member always needs one another. Do not hold grudges, because hatred will be a burden for yourself and hurt your family. Forgive and express with sincere action, not empty talk. For example, if you forgot to invite a family member to a happy birthday party, ask for forgiveness from them and offer something to make up for that member like him or her. go for lunch. " Actions are more powerful than words ", so please show them the sincerity of your apology!