8 utopian expectations can harm your life

More than anything else, your expectations will determine your reality. For example, when it comes to achieving goals, if you don't believe that you are successful, you will never succeed. Research from LSU indicates that people who believe in themselves use more metacognitive functions than those who don't believe in themselves. This means they use more brains and have more brain energy to solve more problems. Metacognition is particularly important in achieving achievements or goals because it ensures you will approach the problem in many ways and adjust as needed.

A good thing about expectations is that they also affect others. In 1960, Harvard research showed that the strength in our beliefs can change the behavior of others . In the study, people told teachers that these children (randomly selected) are smart, they will have better performance not only in learning but also in standard IQ tests. The truth is that people perform best when we believe in them. Research shows that this happens because when we believe in someone, then:

1. We treat them better with people we think will fail.
2. We give them more opportunities to succeed.
3. We give them more accurate and useful feedback than others.
4. We help them, teach them more by believing that time spent is worthwhile.

When shadowing suspicious people on certain people (or things), we seem to guarantee their failure. Medical experts call this a "nocebo" phenomenon. The treatment results of patients with low expectations on treatment methods and procedures tend to be lower than those who hope to succeed, even with very good treatments. If a doctor uses a treatment that has a high success rate and has been verified but has a bit of skepticism or negative thoughts, the likelihood of a negative outcome will also increase.

Expect to really shape your current. They can change your life both physically and emotionally. Be more careful (and better aware) with the expectations that you are trusting by false expectations that will make life more difficult and especially careful with expectations. below because it really caused a lot of trouble.

1. Life must be fair

We have heard millions of times (and perhaps millions of times) that life is not fair and even knowing that fairness is a very complex issue, it is still a concept that we have not yet. really understand its meaning in practice. Subconsciously, many of us expect life to be fair and that the injustices that we must undergo will be compensated in some way, even if we don't do anything. If you are still stuck in that thought then it's time to remove it from your head. When something "unjust" happens, don't rely on outside resources to "stand up and move on". Sometimes there will be no compensation reward and the sooner you stop expecting it, the sooner you start working to really make a difference.

2. The opportunity will fall from the sky

One of the most important things a person can do is to risk taking the opportunity. You deserve to be rewarded, promoted or have a car sales company does not mean that must happen.You must be the one to act , work hard and see what belongs to you. If we limit ourselves to what is brought, we are completely under the control of others. When it comes to action, think "what is the next step I need to take?", "Are there any obstacles to prevent and what should be done to eliminate them?" and "are there any mistakes I can make that target further and further?"

3. Everyone must like me

Everyone has difficulties in meaning and emotion, which means that good, kind and respectful people may not be liked by some but for no reason at all. When you think that people have to like you, you will feel hurt when you don't like it (the fact that you can't win everyone ). When assuming people will like you, you will choose a shortcut, start making requests and demands before building a foundation to understand what they think and feel. Instead of hoping everyone will like you, try to make people respect and trust you .

4. Everyone must agree with me

This can be very difficult. Surely you know what you are saying and therefore, you want people to value it. But hopefully they will agree with your point of view for you or because your idea is too good or another story. There are very obvious things to you that are not clear to others by different life experiences. So don't be hostile when others disagree with your opinion and stop saying that only 1 of your answers is correct. Instead, focus on finding solutions that everyone needs.

5. People understand what I am saying

People can't read your mind and what you're trying to say isn't sure what they want to hear. You cannot expect people to understand you simply because you are talking - you have to say it clearly . While trying to ask someone to do something without giving a specific context or trying to explain a complex concept behind a large content, it is easy to ignore irrelevant information by assuming they are not necessary. Communication will not work without being presented clearly and others will not understand what you say until you take the time to understand their point of view.

6. I will fail

As mentioned above, if you think you will fail, it is likely that the result will cause you to worry. If you fail, accept sometimes you must fail to succeed. But if you are pursuing a certain effort, trust everything you have that you will succeed, otherwise you will limit your chances of success.

7. Everything will make me happy

Certainly, in the short term, life can be fun and comfortable, but in the long run everything will not make you happy forever. Too many of us expect future events to make us happy (for example, "I will be happy if I get promoted) instead of looking for deep causes that make me unhappy." If you don't try to improve your core, no external event can help you be happy no matter how much you want.

8. I can change him or her

There is only one person in this world that you can change - that's yourself . And even that takes a lot of effort and effort. The only way to make people change is through hope and from there they change themselves. It will be difficult to change someone when they don't want to, as if your sincere desire can help them change. You even voluntarily choose people who have problems and think they can "fix" them. Stop expecting such things, build your life around positive and sincere people, don't let people who have problems make you disappointed.

In short, believe that your success will really help you have a higher chance of success. It also means that you need to eliminate all kinds of false expectations because they can get in your way.

Author: Travis Bradberry