How to Stay on Your Mother-In-Law's Good Side

Below are some fool-proof ways to keep your in-laws happy, even if you initially got off on the wrong foot.

Be Polite, Even When It's Hard

Mom's have high expectations for their son or daughter's spouse, which is a good sign! It means they want to be involved with you and your life, but sometimes in-laws can come across as mean unintentionally. Stay polite at all times (unless they're abusive, of course), and offer her your most profound respect. Ensure that you don't come across as friendly only when you want something because that can make you look selfish or unpleasant to your spouse's family.

Bring Over Gifts (Sometimes)

It's often seen as polite when you give gifts for special occasions, like dinners, holidays, or birthdays. For example, choosing the right Mother's Day flowers can really impress your Mother-in-law, especially if you figured out her favorite blossom. The more personal the gift, the better because it shows that you're trying to make an effort and intend to stay close to her.

Use Your Manners

While some in-laws are more casual than others, most of them prefer to hear 'please' and 'thank you' throughout the conversation. If you ask them for something, always say please. You may need to come off as more formal at the start because you can't go wrong with using your manners. Eventually, both of you will drop a lot of proper speech. In fact, your in-laws are likely using formal speech because they also want to make a good impression on you.

Speak Kindly About Her Family

One of the biggest mistakes newlyweds make is being too personal, too quickly. Unless your spouse is abusive, you should never talk badly about them, or the claws will come out. You can talk to your friends and family about your spouse if you're annoyed with them or having a bad day, but always avoid bringing up character flaws with your In-Laws. 

Compliment Her

Everyone loves to hear a compliment once and a while, and your Mother-In-Law is no different. One of the best compliments to give her includes aspects about her son or daughter, like 'I can see where my husband/wife gets their good looks from!' Not only is that compliment sweet, but it's also funny and includes their children. Don't forget to make direct complements as well. Talk about her smile or her great cooking; just remember to sound genuine when doing so.

Ask for Advice and Offer Help in Return

Our Mothers and Fathers are often much wiser than us and have valuable ideas to bring to a conversation. Asking for advice shows you value their opinion and that they matter. In return, you can offer help around the house, like cooking dinner or cleaning. It's always nice to help out your family members, especially when they don't ask, as it shows you want to get involved.

Talk to Her

Your In-Laws have their own lives full of people they love and cherish. If you show an active interest in their hobbies, family, and personality, she'll come to like you quickly. At the start of your relationship, most of the interest will be towards you, but you should still show that interest back. Instead of just answering questions, bring the conversation back to her or expand on the topic. It will show you're listening, that you're interested in her life and want to be close to her.

Stay Confident

Meeting your In-Laws is scary, and it may affect your self-confidence when you meet them for the first time. Do your best to remain confident while you're speaking to your Mother-In-Law, even when you're intimidated. Your In-Laws want to know you're proud of who you are and trust yourself to make decisions because this calms her fears about you being codependent.