How to Make a Relationship Better

Staying Passionate

1. Don't take the relationship for granted. If there's one thing you do to make your relationship better, make it this. Being in a happy relationship is a privilege — it's not something that is guaranteed all of the time. Because of this, you should always treat your relationship like it is something special and worthy of celebration. Always seek to please your partner and look for opportunities to show your love. Never assume that because you are in a relationship you can "let yourself go" and become unpleasant, disrespectful, or entitled.^[1]

   1. This doesn't mean that you have to constantly treat your partner to luxuries (though the occasional present or fancy dinner is always a nice gesture). Instead, make this advice more about your actions. Treat your partner to heartfelt shows of love and affection. Be there when s/he needs you most. Look for creative, memorable things to do with him or her.

2. Show interest in your partner's life. Your partner wants to be admired and respected as a full person — not simply kept around for emotional support. Always play an active role in your partner's life. Conversely, let your partner take an active role in yours. By taking lots of opportunities to talk about each other and do things with each other, you give yourselves chances to grow as a couple. Just a few ideas are below:

   1. Ask your partner's opinion when you're having trouble making a decision
   2. Talk about each others' successes and frustrations with work, school, etc. often
   3. Help your partner with difficult work/school tasks occasionally
   4. Take an interest in your partner's creative pursuits (writing, drawing, etc.)

3. Never stop flirting. Many couples complain of losing a certain romantic "spark" as their relationship matures. Keep the magic alive by treating every day like you're still trying to woo each other. Gently tease each other, play hard to get, make subtle innuendos — whatever worked for you before you were in a relationship. You can never know a partner too well to stop flirting.^[2]

4. Touch. Touching is a way to foster greater physical intimacy without necessarily doing anything sexual. For example, holding hands, hugging, and giving massages are all ways of showing your affection through touch. These sorts of actions are a simple but effective way to show that you enjoy the way your partner feels when you're together.

   1. While touch is a great way to gain a closer bond, you should always respect your partner's personal boundaries. Don't touch your partner when s/he isn't in the mood for it — this is disrespectful and a good way to start a fight.

5. Don't be afraid to acknowledge your love. If you and your partner have reached the stage where you're comfortable using the "L word," feel free to make it part of your regular vocabulary. Reminding your partner that you love him or her can be just the boost of positivity and passion that's needed before starting the day, going to bed, or doing something hard. It can also bring you back together after an argument — you may have your differences, but you love each other, so you can work through them.

   1. On the other hand, if this is something you find yourself saying every time you get together, you may want to resist the urge. Saying "I love you" constantly can cheapen the phrase. When you really mean it, it may have less of an effect.

6. Commit. Uncertainty about the future of a relationship can kill long-term passion. On the other hand, knowing that your partner will be there for you (and vice versa) allows you to approach each other with confidence. You know neither of you are going anywhere for a while, so you can relax a little and be your true selves. As a result, your relationship will grow in honesty and affection.

   1. This doesn't mean that you need to decide to get married right off the bat (or ever). However, you should talk about what both of you want to get from the relationship early on so you don't run into any conflicts months or years later.