8 signs that you are having a true love

Someday, you and the person will light candles in the night, walk in green pastures and eat sweet cakes at the wedding.

But then there will be times, you will be busy cooking, coaxing your baby to cry and the two will quarrel loudly just because you cannot agree on who will be responsible for each job in the family.

These facts say: While passion and love for each other are obvious, there will be times when these two things are not enough.

So how do you know if your relationship is great or at risk of "one person per person"?

Psychologists have spent many years studying the basic characteristics of a long-lasting relationship and results, they have gathered a lot of interesting points. Here are 8 outstanding signs among them.

Note : If you realize that your current relationship does not meet all of these standards, it does not mean that you should end your relationship with that person. See the list below as a "basic guide" that can help you start to assess whether current friendship / love gives you real satisfaction and happiness.

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1. You think about him often when you are not together

In 2007, researchers called the home of nearly 300 married people randomly and asked them a series of questions about their relationship as well as how they felt about their own love.

The results show the typical characteristics of a closely linked relationship with stronger emotions about love. In particular, an interesting discovery is that the more people think about their partners when they are not together, the more they feel loved and loved.

A similar study conducted with nearly 400 married New Yorkers also found that having difficulty concentrating on other things while thinking about that person is also related to irrepressible emotions. about male and female love - especially with men.

2. You respond positively to the good news regarding that person

Business Insider senior Lauren Friedman once shared in an article that a happy relationship means that both people react excitedly to hearing interesting news about each other. The Psychology Today blog shows four ways a man expresses his emotions after his woman says she has just been promoted as follows:

1. The reaction has a nuanced build - actively demonstrating enthusiastic support: " It's great, darling! I know I can do it, I've worked very hard".
2. The reaction of building nuances - passive shows support in a reserved way - such as a warm smile and simply saying "Good news".
3. The reaction is negative - proactive is a word that reduces the goodness of the event: "Does that mean you will have to work overtime? Are you sure you will be able to do it all?"
4. The reaction is negative - passive is almost the act of ignoring the good news: "Oh, is that so? I won't believe what happens to you on the way home today."

Perhaps it is not surprising that the reaction that is the most closely connected with the satisfaction in the relationship is the reaction of building nuanced - active.

3. You have your own time for your friends

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Over the decades, people have begun to make increasing demands for their partners. According to Jessica Orwig's share in Business Insider, we no longer expect them to simply be the main earners in family, guardians or another person to vote - now, we want them to spend give yourself the space to satisfy other personal needs.

Finkel suggests that if you want to be happy in marriage, it's best not to look for your partner all you need. Make your own hobbies, spend time with friends and find fun at work.

4. Both of them are funny

Psychologist, and founder of Nei Clark Warren dating site, previously had an article posted on Business Insider, claiming that humor is "the closest lubricant" of a relationship. romantic system.

On the same point, Erin Brodwin also said there is a "private language" with a partner - like a nickname or a teasing that no one else can - can make the emotional string between the two more tied up tighter and often it's a sign of high satisfaction in the relationship.

5. Fair division of housework

In an investigation conducted by the Pew Research Center in 2007, 62% of adults said that sharing work in the family is very important for a happy marriage. Interestingly, when based on social prejudices, among these, there is no difference in the answers of participants, including men and women.

However, while men are more involved in household chores than past men, another study shows that women still tend to choose light, simple jobs and Not much effort.

6. Both try to do new things

In a study published in 1993, researchers observed the quality of the relationship of more than 50 middle-aged couples and divided them into three groups.

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A group chooses new and exciting activities to do together for 90 minutes / week, such as dancing or acting. Other groups spend 90 minutes a week participating in familiar activities that are exciting with their partners - such as going to a movie and the last group doing nothing.

After 10 weeks, the experts reevaluated the quality of each couple's relationship and found that couples experience new things with the highest satisfaction.

Below is a quote in a report published in the New York Times in 2008:

"Dr. Aron [one of the investigators of that investigation] foretold that the newness is not enough to save a marriage that is in a crisis. the relationship that is basically relatively smooth, except for a few minor tensions, the newness can be the medicine that helps to heal unreasonable stretches and spark their love to re-ignite. ".

7. Relationships rarely make you seriously depressed

Recently, researchers have observed more than 400 couples dating and using their feedback on relationships to recognize four patterns of compromise: tragic, contradictory, interfering. of society and focus on the enemy.

Gary Lewandowski - a psychologist and a research specialist on explanatory relationships on the Science of Relationships page that couples fall into tragic states that show a lot of volatility in their compromise on their partners. time.

Couples focusing on the opponent are represented by the fact that the two mostly experience erratic (positive) changes in the way they compromise when they don't spend much time together.

The pattern of social intervention reflects that couples often have erratic fluctuations when a friend or family changes what they think about the relationship.

Couples of the last pattern often conflict with many small fluctuations in their level of compromise.

The above points show that couples who focus on their opponents often value their relationships, while couples who are "tragic" are more likely to break.

8. You know how to heal relationships after each conflict

Psychologist and relationship expert John Gottman has previously shared that the number one commonness of happy couples is that they can reconnect the emotional string after each conflict.

This does not mean that there is no conflict at all, instead, is the way you respond to the situation: "The thing that all couples are really happy and sincere love that is, they know how to talk, connect with partners, such as when he is worried, you are willing to listen and share.

"The world stops, both listen and we fix everything together. We do not let good things disappear. We do not leave him in pain. We talk about it and we we patch up unnecessary injuries ".