21 things you should not say in the first meeting

Whether it's just introducing yourself to someone at work or meeting a potential guest in a coffee shop, what you say when you first meet is extremely important because it will leave a Great impression for them.

Darlene Price - President of Well Said Group and author of the " Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results " series (translated as "Good Speaking! Presentation and effective conversation ") says: " History Using polite and reckless words not only leaves a bad impression at the beginning but also affects your credibility, relationships and opportunities for career advancement later. "

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Ms. Price recommends that when you feel anxious, you will speak faster than usual without thinking and more than that, it is necessary to say more.

Most of us have ever made the mistake of communicating at least once or more. So remember the things you need to say in your head so that when you meet a newcomer, you will avoid saying things that shouldn't:

"I hate this company" or "My boss is an idiot"

Price said: " Impressions of bad heads will make people remember forever. Even the things you say are true, but it is best not to say they are in a business and social environment. Especially when you want to impress. If you really want to complain about someone or something, discuss it directly with someone who can help you solve them, such as an administrator. manpower - probably no stranger to you " .

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"How much do you earn?"

The money they earn is personal.

She said: " It would be rude and impolite to ask them in the first meeting, if you really want to know or just be curious, instead of asking directly, find out for yourself in some. websites like Glasdoor, PayScale, Salary.com ".

" Sorry I'm busy"

Why do you say you're busy? According to Barbara Pachter , an expert on rules and author of " Essential Business Rules ", Business Insider answered: "If you really want to apologize for things you haven't yet complete, ask yourself why do you continue and then do it as usual? Before introducing yourself, it is better to say: 'Sorry. Are you free?'

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"Who do you vote for?"

In the general rule of etiquette, do not mention political issues - especially at the time of election.

" When you feel confident about your political party, your candidate or your important issues, don't move at work. However, if an individual or a group is talking about let's discuss the topic and bring the facts in. Avoid controversy, express personal, judgmental or authoritarian feelings . "

Instead of discussing personal issues, what needs to be discussed is to update the latest information.

"Do you believe in God?"

Obviously, everyone knows this should not be said, but it can still happen.

Ms. Price said: " Whether you are a superstitious person or not, at the first meeting you should not ask if they believe in religion unless you are a member of the clergy."

"I'm gay / straight"

" It doesn't matter, it's not about you and your partner," she said .

Discussing sexual orientation may also make some people uncomfortable and even, it is considered sexual harassment.

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"When do you want to have children?"

In fact, if you naturally ask when she's not pregnant, it's ungainly. It makes them feel very insulted.
" What's more, this (whether right or wrong) is still too sensitive when it comes to the first meeting. When the woman talks about them, talk about industry-related topics. Your business or business purpose. "

"That's impossible"

Talking about concerns and work to solve them together is good, but if you say something that can't be done is negative and unconvincing.

Lynn Taylor - a working environment expert and author of " Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job " (roughly translated: " Overcoming office tyranny: How to controlling child attitudes and advancing at work ") answered Business Insider: " If the comments and questions do not have a positive, achievable and confident attitude, then it is best to avoid mentioning ".

"You hear that?"

Vicky Olive - author of " Bad Bosses, Crazy Coworkers & Other Office Idiots " and " Power Sales Words" says: " Gossiping will make you a lot of talkers ."
Gossiping will make you worse in the eyes of others. Rosalinda Oropeza Randall - a rule expert and polite expert - is the author of " Don't Burp in the Boardroom " reminded her: " Guess who will be bad people when you're bringing others to talk . "

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"I like your dress"

Price advises: " Avoid making comments about the looks or personal belongings of others - even if it is positive - in the first time you meet them. It's a fish problem." And if you know them, be careful what you say. "

Based on the relationships and positions at the workplace, the safest way is to avoid giving opinions about the entire body unless you are sure they understand it.

"Instead, give a sincere job-related compliment like:" I really like your presentation "or" Congratulations on successfully completing the set target "or" Management skills Your project has contributed a lot to our team. "

"I'm divorced"

Price also notes: " If you encounter difficulties, share with your new colleagues - but this is completely inappropriate. Avoid mentioning personal difficulties when you first meet or in general business discussions ".

Talking about your troubles will make people doubt about your ability.

"I think ."

In some cases, you use the phrase " I think" to be acceptable but it shows that you seem uncertain.

Pachter said: " When you say 'I do, ' it can make you fade . "

When you know something, speak directly like: " The meeting will start at 3pm."

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'I failed'

" It is important to show a high ability, especially to show your attitude and attitude, " said Taylor .

"You look different than when you look on the phone."

Do not start the conversation by showing that you feel surprised, disappointed or confused because they are not exactly like you imagined.
Ms. Price said: " A conversation expressed astonishment, disappointment or embarrassment because the person did not meet your expectations easily."

"You are more beautiful / beautiful / worth than I think."

Don't show that you expect too low and they are far ahead of them. These compliments will make them feel uncomfortable.

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"How old are you?"

You must have learned this when you were a child, but it was not always the polite to ask the age.

"Honest"

Barbara Pachter - a rule expert and author of " The Essentials of Business Etiquette " added: " Your honesty at the beginning will make them wonder" Is everything they are saying? is wrong?"

"Maybe you've heard X talk about me, but that's not true"

Don't pay attention to any rumors that it may affect you. It makes you think that you are an important person (maybe right - but you don't impress this way), and maybe until now, they still hear about rumors .

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"Can you do me a favor?"

You just met them so don't ask them to help you.

"I . I . I ."

Ms. Price added: "Personal views should be avoided in any first conversation."

She mentioned, " Dorothy Sarnoff reminds us, 'I' is the smallest word in the alphabet, so don't make it the biggest word of your vocabulary." 'No one is impressed. a person who dominates a conversation or talks too much about himself / herself, especially in the first meeting

Suggest that: In order to avoid my centered conversation, show my sincere interest to others with appropriate and proactive listening questions."How did you get into accounting?" "What brought you to Atlanta?" "Do you believe important challenges in our industry?"

And " We all want to improve our ability to make a positive impression on our first meeting, especially in every word we say," "If Emily Post is right, the most effective remedy is focus on the strengths of others because, "almost every mistake in the conversation is due to lack of consideration. "