Why shouldn't you argue with anyone on Facebook?

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Surely all of us have encountered this situation many times: You post comments, comments or a link to an article on Facebook. Someone comments, disagrees (or agrees) with anything you post. Another person posted a comment that disagrees with the first reviewer, with you or both. After that, others jumped in to raise their own views . Everything began to become fierce. Anger broke out. Harsh words are used. Soon you and your friends participate in a virtual quarrel match, in order to insult the opponent in any way, sometimes with people you have never met before.

The reason for this is simple : We often react very differently to what we write and we say - even if those things are exactly the same. That is the new test result done by UC Berkeley and researchers at the University of Chicago.

While conducting the study, 300 subjects read, watched videos or listened to comments on hot topics like war, abortion and country music or rap. After that, the interviewees talked about their reactions to the ideas they disagreed with.

Perhaps the familiar answer of anyone who discusses politics will have a general view that people who disagree with you are either too stupid or not knowledgeable about things. But there is a clear difference between those who have seen or heard someone speak out loud and who have read the same words in text form.People who listen or observe someone say are less likely to reject the speaker's opinion , as if they are not understanding or heartless than when they only read the commenter's words.

This result is not at least surprising to one of the researchers who experienced their own similar cases. Researcher Juliana Schroeder said in the Washington Post newspaper: ' We have read an excerpt from the speech printed in a politician's newspaper with whom he strongly protested. The following week, he heard his speech playing on the radio and he was shocked by how he reacted to the politician when he read the excerpt that was reconstructed while listening ". Written comments seem too outrageous for this researcher, and the spoken words seem more reasonable.

We are using the wrong media

This study suggests that the best way for dissenters is to find their differences and understand each other better or compromise to talk to each other, as people often do during meetings. and on the table for dinner. But now, too much of our interaction takes place on social media, chat, text messages or emails, and conversations or discussions in general become less and less.

So what should you do? If you want to persuade your proposed point of view or action, it's better to do so by creating a short video ( or connecting with others ) instead of writing anything down. you have to say. At the same time, whenever you read something from another person, remember that in fact you are seeing this in a textual form, maybe only seeing part of the problem . It is important that you have an objective view, try reading it out loud or asking others to read it for you.

After all, if you're in the middle of a Facebook debate ( Twitter, Instagram, email or message ), and the person on the other side of the problem is the person you care about, don't continue to type in paid comments reply and answer . Instead, make an appointment for coffee so you can talk directly. Or at least, pick up the phone and call that person.

See also: 5 signs that you should "pause" using social networks

Having fun!