Best jokes about men

Jokes about penis, jokes about women and men are abundant on the Internet. Therefore, if you are looking for a collection of good jokes about men , read the article below.

My husband's mysterious woman

One day, a street vendor passed by. He saw the husband outside the door and enthusiastically invited him:

- Would you like to buy anything?

- My wife is not at home, but what do you have?
- The street vendor immediately brought out household items, such as pans, pots, and pans. However, the husband did not pay much attention and only looked at a mirror. The husband
asked:
- What is this? - Then he picked it up and looked at it and continued - Oh my god, this is my father's picture, it's so beautiful! Sell me this.
After buying the mirror, he was very worried because he was afraid that his stingy wife would know that he had spent a lot of money on a useless thing, so he hid it in the warehouse behind the boxes.
After that, every day the husband went to the warehouse and looked at the picture in the mirror two or three times, which made his wife suspicious. So one day she waited for her husband to go to bed and went into the warehouse and found the mirror, she picked it up and looked at it and whispered:
- So this is the ugly woman he has been flirting with these past few days!

Men like to have fun

A guy was on his way home when a girl stopped him and asked:

- Do you want to have fun?

Seeing the extremely beautiful and sexy girl, the guy asked:

- How much?

- 200 thousand.

He nodded in agreement. So she sold him a. joke book.

Best jokes about men Picture 1

Men are curious gods

In a train compartment, there were 3 men and an extremely attractive young woman. All four of them were engaged in a conversation, and after a while, they turned to a… sensitive topic.

The young girl suggested, 'If each of you gives me a dollar, I will show you my legs.' The three men, fascinated by the young girl, all pulled a dollar out of their pockets, and then the girl lifted her skirt a little to show her legs.

Then she said, 'If each of you gentlemen gives me $10, I will show you my thighs.'

Men being men, all three pulled out $10 bills. The girl pulled her skirt up high, showing off her supermodel thighs.

The conversation continued, and the three men, somewhat drawn to the sexy girl, waited for a more 'hot' offer. The young girl said: 'If you give me $100, I will show you where I had my. appendix removed.'

Naturally, all three of them gave money. Immediately, the girl turned to the window, pointed to a hospital in the distance and said: 'There!'.

Men suffer all their lives just because of a toothpick

Best jokes about men Picture 2

Seeing his son lying around all day and refusing to get married, the father advised him:

- You're almost 40, get married or else after dinner, when you want to pick your teeth, there won't be anyone to pick your teeth for you!

40 years later, the young man from that day, now an 80-year-old man, lay with his head in his hands, cotton stuffed in his ears. Around him, his grandchildren were playing loud music, jumping and playing soccer in the outside room. He sighed to himself:

- Oh! Just because of a toothpick, my life is miserable like this!

Real men

- Hey, tell me, what score did you get today?

- Dad, real men never pay attention to such trivial things!

Which country's men are easier to teach?

Three women from America, France and Vietnam discuss how to educate their men.

American woman said:

'One day I told my husband that from tomorrow he had to cook for himself. The first day I saw nothing, the second day the same, and on the third day I saw him take out a cookbook and start practicing'

The French woman said:

'I tested my husband by not cooking, the first day he complained a little, the second day he rummaged through some pieces of cake in the fridge to finish eating and on the third day I saw him start going to the supermarket to buy food and practice cooking'

And the Vietnamese woman… emotionally recounted:

'I also declared to my man that from tomorrow I will not cook anymore, he has to adapt to that. The first day I saw nothing, the second day I also saw nothing, and by the third day I could only see him with. difficulty through my left eye, my right eye was bruised and swollen'

Short jokes about men

A millionaire overseas has three girlfriends but doesn't know which one to marry. So he gives each of them $5,000 and sees how they spend it.

- The first girl went to buy new clothes, got her hair done, got her nails done and told him: I spend money to make you beautiful because I love you so much.

- The second girl bought him a golf card, a CD, and a TV: I spent money to buy these gifts for you because I love you so much.

- The third girl took the $5,000, invested it in stocks, doubled it, returned $5,000 to the guy, and continued to invest the rest: I'm investing this money for our future because I love you so much.

- Boy: Good, I choose all 3!

*****

A fortune teller reads a man's palm.

- In the first half of his life, he suffered from lack of money, but after that. it got much better.

- Because I will make money?

- No, because you will get used to it.

*****

The doctor jokingly said to the infertile patient:

- Cheer up.

- Why?

- Because infertility is not genetic. Therefore, if you have children, they will not have this disease.

*****

In addition to the good and funny jokes about men above, we also cannot miss funny jokes about women. Let's read and have fun.

Jessica Tanner

Update 09 December 2024