What if you were too kind?

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Being kind to colleagues can be seen as a key to opening up the door to success. But what " too " is not good, especially kindness. Join us to find out what happens if you are too kind!

I - the author of the article was once a nice person. I always think about the interests of people other than myself and often try to do everything to be able to please those around me. Therefore, I often volunteered to do most of the work for the company's projects. I take back my requests if they make any of them feel uncomfortable. All my free time is given, given away and given away.

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However, the final result is not what I expected. I felt tired and sad because I didn't care about my own health and spirit. When I volunteered to do more things, the more people hoped I would do more for them. That makes me feel uncomfortable, dissatisfied because no one cares about my opinion anymore.

Of course, none of us want to be selfish, but things that are outside of our personal needs are not all we can afford to do. In the blog ' How Selflessness Makes Us Selfish - How does altruism make us selfish? ', the author says that when we cannot achieve individual needs, we start to look for other ways to achieve it, and so that behavior looks selfish. If we want to live more kindly and give more, we really need to be a little more ATTRACTIVE.

Here are 9 unpleasant things that will happen when you're too "kind." Invite you to consult!

1. If you are always a "give" then people will always come to you to "receive"

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In the article " 5 Ways Being Too Nice Can Become Negative - 5 too good things to be negative " has been posted on Power of Positivity page, the author thinks that if you don't set a limit, you will despised and used by others.

Self-assess yourself, make sure your needs are met and set limits for yourself, but doesn't mean you ignore people around you. That just means ' you are very important '.

In the past, I used to think that people would like me more and find me more important if I gave as much as I could. But instead, I found they even rated me lower.Others will value us in the way we value ourselves . Therefore, when I started setting my limits and asking for help when needed, people began to pay attention and appreciate my contributions.

2. Put too much expectation on others

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According to Power of Positivity, when you treat people with too much kindness, you will have a false expectation that people will treat you the same way. But in fact, when they are not your expectations, you will get angry and upset with yourself.

I have realized that. I treated my friends very well and even surpassed their expectations but I felt offended when my friend didn't treat me like that. I enthusiastically help you when you need it but when I need it, you don't mind. What I wonder is why they only care for themselves and my responsibility is not to worry about me but to take care of them.

See also: 10 hard facts about life that help you grow up

3. People will only come to you when you need something

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Power of Positivity page says that when you treat others well, they will treat you as the last solution. People will only come to you when they think you can help them solve the problem because they only treat you as a tool to help them achieve their personal goals. For people like that if you don't set a limit to stop it, they may be more and more excessive for you.

I have encountered this problem and it is quickly out of my control.Be polite to say " No " to refuse without giving too many reasons to explain or distribute . At that time, you should only suggest ways to help the person solve the problem and let them do it themselves, or ask them to find a more suitable guest.

4. You forgot to be good to yourself

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When you are concerned about others, you will forget to treat yourself well. That leads to you not achieving your basic needs and gradually making you sad and exhausted.

I realized that giving away too much did not bother me about the pain and suffering in my heart. I have confirmed myself and I believe that people do not really respect me. When I know how to control ' giving ', I have more time to look back and learn how to improve my own value. As a result, I became more generous and sympathetic.

See also: 7 hard facts to help you improve your life

5. You will be considered weak

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In the article ' 5 Ways Being Too Nice Can Hurt You - 5 too kind things can become negative ' by Jessica Stillman, do you say that if you are too kind to make others think you are human bad. Not only does it make others use you, they don't even consider you a powerful person.

At work, I realized that when I did too much and the limits were not strict, people did not recognize the achievements I achieved. Because I can't judge myself, how can people judge me?

6. Become a prey for those who like 'love and care'

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According to Stillman, when you are too good or in other words unable to deny someone else's thanks, you are turning yourself into a " fat " prey for lazy people and likes. Those people are always looking for opportunities to take advantage of you because you don't know how to set limits for them.

I also experienced this. I spend hours and hours ' supporting ' my friend on Facebook and of course I can't sleep enough. Therefore, I learned the lesson of being a good friend and willing to help when they need it, but should also let them know that your free time is also limited and that you are only available on a certain day. that's it.

See also: 13 simple facts about relationships you may not know

7. People will not believe you

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In fact, only a few people in the life will be really kind. So Stillman says if you act too kind to others, they will also question whether you have any other motives. Even, people will think you are not reliable and this makes it more difficult to build relationships.

In the past, when I didn't know how to set my limits, I was never really accepted in an organization, both in terms of work and personal relationships. Until I define my limits and value myself more, people start to appreciate me.

8. You will feel 'missing'

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When you don't meet your desired needs, it is obvious that you will start looking for things from many other places. This makes you impatient, feels inadequate in relationships, as well as constantly seeking recognition.

More surprisingly, I myself have all those signs when I don't know how to prioritize myself. I kept going and looking for appreciation of my value from others. Until I know how to express my worth, that ' missing ' feeling is no more.

9. Easy to stick to bad habits

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When you can't see your value, it's easy to fall into bad habits to relieve stress. When you feel yourself overloaded, you will find a way out of spending, shopping, eating or other addictive activities.

I have been involved in so many negative habits. I always spend too much money and even junk food when I feel too pressured by completing tasks without being recognized by others. The day when I knew how to love myself, bad habits also gradually disappeared.

Although being kind is a good way to live, if you give too much and don't set a limit, it will affect how others see you and not help those who need your help.Please love and respect yourself first, then you will know how to treat people around you well and they will treat you the way you want.

See also: 6 actions create the most powerful attraction in the opponent's eyes

Having fun!