6 habits of extremely miserable people

About the author : The article was shared by John Fawkes posted on page Medium.

I don't want to make you shudder when reading this "miserable people" - miserable people . But in fact, I know a lot of people like that up to this point. The funny thing is, I used to be one of them.

"Chronic" unhappy people often have a few things that are easy to recognize, such as daily routines or some life philosophy that they attach themselves to. So, if you want to get rid of the "miserable" group of people for the rest of your life, it is best to put your 6 things out of your head and leave your life right now before it's too late.

1. Participate in useless debates on the Internet

Arguing with people directly often wasted time, let alone spend hours just trying to argue with some people on the Internet. Because, most of the time, the situation becomes even more serious and makes it more difficult for others to absorb your opinions or change their opinions. Often, these debates make you more in a crisis than actually being involved in a "battle" with someone on social networks.

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Have other people ever intended to insult you? Do they hate you? Do they have your "troll"? Do they try to start a "war" on the Internet or engage in a constructive debate? You don't know.

You can take part in constructive debates, but if you find that your use of the language starts to tend to be negative, then control it. Do not let your anger overwhelm your mind, leading to a state of crisis. There is nothing good about arguing with someone on the Internet. So, learn to "immune" to those things if you don't want to be "miserable" like I used to be.

2. Waiting for good things to appear

People who do not feel happy often have a very bleak vision of the future. In fact, the surprise is that many of them are optimistic that things will get better someday so there is no need to do anything, so and then everything will return to the original order. The problem is that all the hopes they are holding in their heads depend on something good that will "accidentally" come to them one day.

Perhaps, they expect to get a perfect job by chance without much effort, such as a friend's offer to work. Or meet your dream lover at a grocery store without spending much time searching. Or going to travel or try a new hobby "when there's time".

Mostly, they excuse this way of life that is "waiting for an opportunity". However, what they don't like is that opportunities often have to be created, not by chance. Build a network of relationships and job search, join a club to meet people or create a specific plan to manage time more effectively. "Opportunity" means you have to put yourself in a position that can make personal wishes come true.

3. Try to please the people they don't like

Someone told you that you should not care about what others think of you. Actually, this advice is not necessarily true. People are social species, we need to get along with people. So it's also important that some other people think about you.

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However, everyone's views are different. I have seen many people waste their energy trying to get approval from people they don't like. Perhaps, they think everyone has to like me. Perhaps, they underestimate themselves while appreciating the confidence, appearance or intelligence of others. Since then, they think that making them satisfied will make sense to some degree.

You do not need to be like that. Satisfy your loved ones, make sense to you instead of trying to get along with everyone who always criticizes you, takes you down and distracts you. You should not underestimate yourself in exchange for being "liked" by someone who doesn't feel true goodwill from them.

4. Just feel happy when you reach your goal

This is not a problem of "miserable" people. This is a problem in the way society now sees happiness: like the end of the tunnel, the reward will be awarded to those who have achieved the set goal.

The trouble here consists of two aspects.First, the feeling of unhappiness will paralyze us. It destroys work motivation to achieve goals. Second, we need to have goals. Without them, you will be confused and live without purpose. When you achieve what has been planned before, the best thing to do is celebrate but don't "fall asleep in the victory" for too long and quickly set a new goal.

So setting a new goal will make us unhappy again? No. of course. It is necessary and a sign of development. Do not deny happiness from yourself because you cannot achieve all goals and never stop desiring. Instead, enjoy the journey, feel good things from small things and don't let your joy depend on the situation.

5. Sleep is not good

If you ignore the philosophy of a noble soul, much of happiness is closely related to biological mechanisms. Eat well, get enough food, exercise regularly, spend time in the sun and, more importantly, get enough sleep and quality.

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Except for some exceptions, the most successful people consider sleep to be one of the top priorities. In contrast, those who work ineffectively, crisis, continuous fatigue, anxiety and negative living are difficult to sleep and severe sleep deprivation.

Sleep is one of the foundations that contributes to a good life. For most of us, sleeping between 7 and 9 hours in a dark, quiet room is extremely wonderful. So, take care of your sleep today.

6. Misunderstanding about pleasure

Ancient Greek philosophers distinguished two types of happiness: true (Eudaimonia) and pleasure (Hedonia).

Hedonia features a simple satisfaction: eating pita bread (a kind of bagel that is very popular in the Middle East), drinking or watching naked men struggling in festivals "smeared Oil wrestling (oil wrestling).

In contrast, Eudaimonia features a deep sense of mission and purpose. It is the feeling of satisfaction you get when you work to build the Parthenon, create shapes or become the champion in the "oil painting" festival. And science shows that this is the kind of happiness that brings much greater satisfaction than hedonia.

Hedonism, in essence, will take you to a kind of "empty" happiness, also feel a few good things but it is not enough to make your life completely different from the life of a single person. pure unhappy. However, this does not mean that hedonism is a way of life to be avoided. Sometimes, you can enjoy some wine and eat pita bread but that's not enough. Eudaimonia can help you live more purposefully and feel full happiness.