How to keep calm when stressed, angry
Do you often get hot, shouting, kicking a basket of crates or going on when you feel helpless with people around you? Did you suddenly feel bloody when you got stuck in a traffic jam, received bad news or simply heard something you didn't want to hear? If so, you need to learn to control your anger, not to lose your temper and dominate your life. It is not easy to master the ingrained nature of each person, so there is a need to control yourself at that time and later. Let's take a look at how to keep calm when stressed, angry!
Part 1: Keep calm when things happen
1. Take a walk
First try to get out of the situation that is making you angry , which will help you calm down and think clearly. If that day is a beautiful day, go outside to enjoy the beautiful natural scenery or just stand up and walk a little to burn the negative energy, get rid of the problem that is bothering you. If you're in a stressful debate, it doesn't matter when you say, "I'm going out for a bit." In most cases, you don't need to give an immediate answer. Therefore, it is possible to leave the room or building to allow yourself time to calm down before answering someone.
2. Control the "hot flash"
If you are an easy-going person, the first reaction is usually not positive, tends to be violent, destructive and completely absurd. You may want to kick a car, punch a wall or shout at someone. Instead of acting impulsively initially, ask yourself what you need to do to get good results. Take a minute to think about how you should react and consider what will help you calm down. Don't let negative emotions dominate and dominate yourself, leaving you in a worse situation.
3. Dance to a tune
Maybe this is the last thing you want to do when you're angry, but this is exactly why you should do it. If you're feeling deep in anger, turn on your favorite music, dance and sing along . This will make you forget the anger and feel better. If this method is really useful to you, you can even bring your favorite music with you to pop up every time you feel really angry.
4. Practice deep breathing
Sit upright in a chair, take a deep breath through your nose, count to 6. Then slowly exhale, count to 8 or 9. Pause and repeat it 10 times. Try to focus only on the breath, remove anything from your head that disturbs your mind.
5. Count down from fifty
By counting silently or counting out, you can calm down in less than a minute. While counting, try to focus on the numbers and stay calm. Focusing helps you not get overwhelmed by anger and helps you face the problem with a "cold" head. If you're still angry, repeat the exercise, or count down from 100.
6. Meditation
Meditation helps you adjust your emotions. So, if you're feeling out of control, let the spirit relax by meditating. Get out of the situation that makes you angry before you start meditating. For example, you can go out, go upstairs, or even go to the bathroom to get out of a scene that makes you angry.
- Breathe slowly and deeply. Maintaining breathing will reduce the fast beating heart rate. The breath should be deep until you feel the belly "all".
- Imagine a golden light - white flooded your body as you inhaled, relaxing your mind. When breathing out, imagine the breath carrying dark colors in the body.
- Create a meditation habit every morning, even if you don't feel angry. Daily meditation practice will help you become more calm.
7. Imagine a peaceful setting
Close your eyes and imagine your favorite place, such as the beach where you often take a vacation when you are a child or a beautiful lake from your childhood. It can also be a place you have never set foot on, a flower field or a beautiful scene. Choose a place to help you feel calm and peaceful, you will see your breath return to normal. Focus on the smallest detail. The more details you see, the more you can make anger go away.
8. Listen to music
Listen to the music of your favorite singer to help you get back to normal. Listening to music is proven to help you relive beautiful memories and help your mood become stable. Listening to music also makes people angry or agitated become calm, even if they are not aware of the source of the excitement.
- Classical and jazz music are especially helpful in calming down anger, but you can also find the right music for you.
9. Think positively
You can calm your anger by trying to focus on positive thoughts. Close your eyes, dispel negative thoughts and think about at least 3 positive things. Positive thoughts can be about the positive aspects of the situation you are worried about, something else you are aiming for or what makes you happy. Some examples of positive thoughts include:
- This will pass.
- I'm strong enough to handle this.
- Difficult situations are also opportunities to grow up.
- I won't feel angry for long; This is just a temporary feeling.
Part 2: Change of perspective
1. Change the way you look at things
Changing awareness will help you see things in a positive way, become calm. If you pay too much attention to things that make you angry, you'll start believing in negative things, as if everything in your life is so bad. Cognitive change encourages you to use rational and positive thoughts to have a more positive view of what's happening in life.
- For example, you might think " Everything that happened to me was terrible ". However, if you think rationally about what happens, you may realize that it is a combination of good and bad things: in one day you may be punctured, pick up 100 thousand, Trouble at work, and get a surprise gift from a friend. This is a combination of good and bad, if you spend a lot of time focusing on good things, you will feel more beautiful.
- Another example, instead of thinking negatively like: " This always happens, I can't take it anymore !", Think positively: " This has happened many times, I used to handle it successfully and I will pass it again ".
2. Keep a diary of your anger
Write details about your angry emotions. If something happens that makes you unable to control your emotions, write down in your journal. You need to record exactly how you feel, what makes you angry, where, with whom, how you react and how you feel afterwards.
- When you use this journal for a while, you need to start understanding the similarities from people, places, things that make you angry.
3. Find out what makes you angry
In addition to learning how to calm down when you're angry, you need to understand the source of anger by identifying relevant factors and trying to reduce your anger. You may find that by identifying sources of anger that make you angry, you can control your own emotional reactions.
4. Positive communication
You can make yourself more angry if you speak without thinking carefully - this also makes the other person angry, making things more serious. When something makes you angry, take a minute to think about its cause and then say what you really are feeling.
- One of the most active forms of communication is " assertiveness when angry ". Instead of expressing yourself passively (angry without saying anything) or being aggressive (overreacting), try to communicate proactively. To do this, mention the nature of things (unaffected by emotions that exaggerate) to respect others' requests (not needs). For example, you might say: " I'm really angry because I didn't tell you that I'll be late ".
5. Know when to ask for help
Many people can deal with angry issues at home. However, you may need to seek expert help to deal with your anger, if you encounter the following:
- Small things also make you angry.
- When you are angry, you show aggressive behaviors, including screaming, screaming or breaking.
- When anger is often repeated, you may have "chronic anger".
6. Join the anger management program
The anger management program proved to be very successful. The program is effective in helping you understand the source of anger, building methods in the short term to deal with anger, as well as building your emotional control skills. There are many suitable programs for you to easily choose.
- Individual programs where you live are specific to each age group, occupation or specific situation.
- To find an anger management program that's right for you, try searching online for the "angry management class" plus the name of the city or region you live in. In addition, you can also search for terms like "for teens" or "PTSD" (psychological aftersales) to find a group that fits your specific situation.
- Search for appropriate programs by consulting a doctor or therapist, or seeking advice from self-improvement courses at community centers.
7. Find an appropriate therapist.
The best way to learn to keep calm is to identify and root anger issues. A therapist can guide you on relaxation methods to use in situations that make you angry. They can help you develop emotional control and communication skills.
- In addition, therapists will help with problems from the past (such as being abandoned or abused from childhood), which is also one of the agents of anger.
Part 3: Live slower
1. Create a positive living environment for yourself.
Pick up the happiness in your life.Scented candles , potted plants , or photos of friends and relatives, things that make you happy will help you become calmer. Keeping your work space or home neat, comfortable and sunny can make you feel more positive and less stressed in your daily life.
- Trying to be as compact as possible, you will be less angry if you can easily find everything you need.
2. Take time for your favorite things
Part of the reason you feel angry may be because you feel like you almost never have time for yourself and always get stuck in a mess of things you don't want to do. So if you like to draw, read or jog, spend time in your daily or weekly schedule to do those things. You will be less angry because you spend more time doing what you want to do.
- If you're really not passionate or inspired with anything, you should find anything that makes you feel safe.
3. Remember to eat well
Many people are quite familiar with the "hangry" feeling (combining hunger and anger). Stay away from this feeling by eating healthy : eat foods high in protein, fruits and vegetables. This will help you alleviate hunger and not have hypoglycemia. Make sure you start the day with a healthy breakfast - a meal that helps you recharge for the day.
4. Get enough 7-8 hours of sleep a day
Getting enough sleep will help you develop healthy both physically and mentally. Lack of sleep causes a range of health problems, including loss of emotional control. Getting enough sleep helps you stay calm in stressful situations.
- If you have trouble sleeping, talk to your doctor about changes in your diet or lifestyle to improve sleep. Also, you can try sleeping pills.
5. Try to laugh as much as you can
While you really feel uncomfortable, smiling can be difficult. But smiling and laughing have been shown to make you more balanced, even if you are feeling angry and laughing can transform hormones that make you feel angry. Spending a lot of time laughing every day lessens the problem and will make it easier for you to be funny even when a bad situation happens.
- Read jokes or find some friends that make you happier when the mood is stable. You can also try watching a comedy.
Refer to some more articles:
- 12 lessons about happiness I learned in the most difficult situation
- The perfect plan changed itself within 21 days
- 3 ways to help you calm down in stressful conversations
Having fun!
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