Harvard psychologist: 2 criteria people use to evaluate you in the first meeting

Professor Amy Cuddy from Harvard University began studying " First Impressions " (First Impressions) with psychologist Susan Fiske and Peter Glick for over 15 years and they discovered many molds. Samples in these interactions are based on the results obtained.

In the book Presence , Cuddy said that in the first meeting, people often quickly find answers to two questions:

1. Can I trust this person?
2. Can I respect this person?

Psychologists regard these quantities as warmth and energy respectively . When you have these two elements, that's the best thing.

Psychologist from Harvard University: Amy Cuddy

Cuddy also said that most people, especially in situations that require professionalism believe that capacity is the more important factor. After all, they want to prove that they are smart and talented enough to complete all their jobs perfectly.

However, the reality, the warmth or the credibility is the most important factor in how people value you.

"From an evolutionary point of view," Cuddy said, "the more fundamental thing about our existence is to know whether a person is worthy of our beliefs."

For example, you can imagine in the prehistoric era, the more important thing is to know whether your partner will kill you and steal your entire property compared to wondering whether he has enough. ability to create a big fire.

However, while the capacity was highly appreciated, Cuddy also emphasized that it was only evaluated after the belief was established. And focusing too much on your ability to "show off" your strengths may be counterproductive.

Presence book cover

Cuddy shared that MBA trainees are often so keen on intelligence and energy that they can make them ignore social events, don't need help, and often get too close.

Those who produce results that exceed expectations ( Overachiever ) are often very shocked and only awake when they do not receive any job offers, because the companies do not know who they are and do not know Should we trust these "excellent individuals"?

Cuddy said: "If you are trying to influence someone who does not trust you, you will not achieve your goal; in fact, you are likely to create suspicion because they see you as A warm, trustworthy person will make others admire only when they have faith , so make your strong point a gift, not let it become a relationship threatening ".