10 simple ways to improve your communication skills?

In the movie My Fair Lady , Professor Henry Higgins (played by Rex Harrison) advised that to have a fascinating conversation, talk about the weather and health. However, in modern society, climate change, politics, military, religion or any other small topic has become an argument. Politicians can't sit together for more than 5 minutes, rushing to "block" your friends just because their new status mentions a sensitive issue and doesn't want to chat directly with someone because it's simply you Don't like them. It seems that people are becoming more extreme, more divided than the past. We have less compromise, less listening, less sharing. We decide where to live, who to marry, even who to be friends based on our own beliefs.

Note : This article has been compiled and translated from the talk of speaker Celeste Headlee in a talk on TED Talks titled "10 ways to have a better conversation" (10 ways to have an interesting conversation more taste). As One Second Thought's host on Georgia Public Broadcasting and many other famous Talk Show, Celeste Headlee has accumulated a lot of valuable experience to help people improve their speaking skills very well.

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According to Celeste Headlee, to have an interesting conversation, we need to have a balance between speaking and listening . However, during the discussion, both sides lose this balance, making the conversation boring and difficult to re-connect. She also stressed that smart phones are one of the factors that make communication limited and that people are reluctant to meet each other, not just adults but children are also affected.

Here are 10 small tips proposed by Celeste Headlee that we should apply to improve our communication skills

1. Listen

Listening is the most fundamental element of every conversation. It is the hardest thing to do but also the most important thing.

When talking about "obsession" like to talk more than listening, Celeste said: "When I say, I'm in control. I don't have to listen to anything I don't like. I'm the center of attention. I can show my own personality ".

"The Buddha taught and I will describe it to you: when you open your mouth it is time to learn nothing."

You listen to understand, not just to answer. It is something that does not happen often but never forget. And Calvin Coolidge once said, "No one has ever lost a job because he listened too much."

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2. Don't do many things at the same time

We all know that when we do something (anything) while someone is talking, it makes us very upset, even indignant. Celeste stressed that each person needed to be present in conversations."Be present in that moment. Don't worry about your argument with your boss. Don't think about what you're going to eat tonight . " If you don't want to discuss it, leave instead of wanting to be present, half want to stay away from them.

3. Don't insist on being right

A classic mistake anyone can make. Does anyone want to be preached without having the opportunity to speak? Surely you won't have a real conversation if you're just a speaker.

"Everyone is an expert in a certain field. If you only raise your opinion but don't want to give others the opportunity to compare, comment or refute, write a blog . " You need to engage in conversation with the desire to find something to learn, sometimes, which means you need to put your personal opinion aside to embrace new ideas.

4. Use open questions

Use words to ask in conversations like: with whom, what, when, where, why and how . "If you ask a complicated question, you'll get a simple answer , " such as "do you agree?", "Yes, I agree". Certainly, this is not what you want. So, let the other person describe by using open questions: "How do you see my opinion?". When using this strategy, they will have to stop to think and you "will get a more interesting answer than before".

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5. Conveniently follow nature

We almost make this mistake: When someone is talking, you come up with an idea or a story in your mind and you intervene or, in some cases, wait (impatiently) until others finished and said.

According to Celeste, during interviews, guests often say a few minutes before the host asked questions and apparently, the question did not match with the answer or was answered earlier. This means that the guide may have stopped listening for a few minutes because he suddenly thought of another question (smarter) and he insisted on asking."You should do the same."

6. If you don't know, say "I don't know"

There is nothing worse than being found lying and admitting that you don't know something doesn't make you stupid. Conversely, it also makes you become more honest in the eyes of the opposite person.

"Please do so. Be especially careful. Don't say bad things."

7. Don't equate your experience with others

We may experience many similar things with relatives or friends but they have nothing to do with the people around us. That's why the same event but for each person, the results are different.

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If they are talking about their work problems, don't tell them that you hate your job or show your passion. Not the same at all. Don't take that moment to show you're an optimist or a good person."Once someone asked Stephen Hawking his IQ, he replied," I don't know. Who bragged that IQ is just a loser. "

8. Don't repeat what you said

The reason is simple: Bored . It only makes the listener feel as if you consider yourself a center person who can forget what you told them before.

"Especially when talking at work, or when talking to kids, when we need to say something, we chew on a chorus. Don't do that."

9. Don't ramble

Celeste calls this "get rid of weeds". You present the problem in good detail, but only when it is beneficial for the listener to do so. "People do not care about the number of years, names, dates, information like that that you are trying to brainstorm to remember."

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Stephen Covey once said a very good sentence."Most of us do not listen with the intention of understanding, but we listen with the intention to answer."

10. Be brief

No one likes to spend hours talking about a boring topic. And now, not many people like people who just "gossip". Celeste emphasized: "A good conversation is like a short skirt; short, enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover topics."

Video "10 ways to have a more interesting conversation" - Celeste Headlee