How to Stay Away from Pornography

Limit temptation

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Clean up your computer. If you find pornography appearing on your computer, whether accidentally or intentionally, you should start avoiding it by cleaning up your computer. First, delete all porn products saved on your device, then do a few more steps depending on the problem you are having:

Clean up your browser. Please clear your cache, browsing history and Google search history. If your computer remembers that you have visited porn sites (even accidentally), it will assume you want to see more of this content and will display more porn ads and non-porn sites. other safety.

Check for viruses. If you notice pop-up porn ads appearing even when you are accessing trusted websites or right when you open your browser, your computer may be infected with a virus. Please contact a computer repair staff to remove viruses on your computer and install anti-virus software to protect your computer in the future.

Be careful when using search keywords and accessing websites. There are some phrases commonly associated with pornography and some websites contain viruses that will redirect you to pages with pornographic content. You should turn on Google's safe search mode to avoid unsafe searches, and only visit highly trustworthy websites.

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Set up internet censorship. There are many ways you can set up internet censorship to keep yourself and others away from online pornography. You can block all sites, except for a few adult sites, or you can block only certain sites. Please choose a suitable method for yourself:

Use StayFocused. StayFocused is a Chrome browser extension that allows you to manage the websites you can visit and the amount of time spent on them. This utility will be very effective in controlling your behavior if you are struggling to resist the temptation of pornography.

Or you can also use the Stop Procrastinating App application to block network access or filter websites not only on Chrome browser but also all other browsers. This application manages websites very closely, and recommends settings to help users focus on quitting pornography addiction.

Use Microsoft's built-in filters. If you're trying to protect your family and use a Windows computer, take advantage of Microsoft's parental controls. This feature provides effective control rules that you can optionally set to suit your family's needs.

Set up OpenDNS (free DNS resolution service) to block all unwanted content on all devices in the home. This service is often used in schools and is also very useful for families.

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Pay attention to media use. Certain media outlets tend to expose you and others to dangerous, unhealthy content. Therefore, you need to limit the time spent on specific media. You can easily choose movies based on reviews, but TV shows will be more difficult to control. Therefore, limit the number of channels and learn about programs before watching to know if it is suitable for you and your family. The internet is the most difficult medium to control, so you should use an internet censorship program or significantly limit your family's internet time as well as the websites your family can access.

For example, did you know that YouTube has a content filtering feature that can help protect you and your family from adult content on the channel? Scroll down to the bottom of any YouTube page and you'll see the 'Safety: Off' option. Click this option and YouTube will instantly become safer!

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Spend time relaxing in a shared family space instead of alone. Move all computers in the house to the family's common living area and set a rule that every room with a computer must open the door. This rule will help all family members, including you, behave honestly and better control temptations and bad habits.

For example, you could move the computer from your son's bedroom to a corner of the living room.

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Adjust the public places you often visit. Certain public spaces tend to display objectionable cultural products in prominent places. While each place is different, if you find yourself exposed to such content while in public, you should think about spending some time elsewhere.

For example, the central and suburban areas of the city often have a higher concentration of unhealthy cultural products than other areas.

If you know you're likely to see these types of cultural products while driving or walking to work, try taking a different route.

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Avoid negative self-improvement and the use of corporal punishment. We often hear people advise us to use an elastic band on our wrists when we want to stop a bad habit or to punish our children if they do not stay away from unhealthy cultural products, however, at least For viewing porn products, you should not apply these methods. The above methods are effective because the person being punished will be hurt, uncomfortable, embarrassed and humiliated because of what they did. However, when it comes to sex, these emotions can lead to other unhealthy emotions and even make them unable to have sex normally in the future. Avoid negative approaches to all sexual behaviors as much as possible, as they not only do not help form good habits but can also lead to sexual addiction.

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Create positive measures. Whether you're trying to keep yourself away from pornography or trying to help your family, using positive measures will be more effective in shaping desired behaviors.

For example, you could reward your teenage son with extra pocket money each day if he plays the computer for less than 5 hours.

You can also improve yourself in a positive way: reward yourself with a piece of candy every day for not watching pornography.

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Evaluate the problem. It's also extremely important to truly understand the problem you're facing. Sometimes, watching pornography is not really as bad as you think. You should look at your situation from an outsider's perspective and decide whether you really want to persist in controlling the situation.

For example, if your son is having trouble watching pornography, it may just be a symptom of his physiological development. It is normal to experience increased sexual arousal in youth and pornography may be a safer way to relieve emotions than if one stops watching pornography, it is likely that they will seek relief. other radiation. You could stay out of it, or at least give him some advice on why pornography can be a bad idea about sex and why it shouldn't control your life. mine. If this behavior is distracting him from his studies and friendships, you may need to intervene.

Learn to recognize the signs of pornography addiction. If you think pornography is affecting your life, it seems like a big problem. Feeling guilty, lying to cover up your habits, dissatisfaction with your actual sex life, and frustration when pornography isn't acknowledged are all signs of a serious problem.

Build healthier habits

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Replace a bad habit with a good habit. For most people who watch porn a lot, lust is a habit. One of the best ways to break a bad habit is to replace it with a good one; You need to find something else to do when you want to turn to porn. What to do depends on each person, but you can try some of the following activities:

Do exercise. When the time comes when you would normally look at porn, go outside and exercise. You can walk around the house, do some jumping jacks or participate in some fun sports activities like swimming in the pool.

Housecleaning. You can clean some of the basics (like washing dishes, washing clothes, etc.) and don't forget to clean areas that people often don't remember like cleaning the toilet and bathtub.

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Keep yourself busy to forget about porn. You will be easily tempted by porn products if you have too much free time. Keeping yourself busy all day will help you stay away from them because there are so many things to do! Try a new hobby (editing wikiHow articles, for example), teach yourself a new skill (learning a foreign language is helpful and fun), or find another way to pass the time (spend more time Spending more time with friends and family is always a great option).

For example, you can learn a new language yourself using some online software like DuoLingo. Learning a new language will both keep you busy (and stay away from porn) and be very useful for your life later on!

If you want to try something that doesn't involve computers to avoid temptation, you should try learning martial arts. The Japanese martial art Aikido is a martial art that uses minimal movements to achieve maximum effectiveness, for those who do not need to have very good physical strength, so it is very suitable for those without experience. or have an unbalanced body. You can register to learn Aikido at university or local martial arts clubs.

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Find guidance and support. If you're really having trouble controlling your habits, you should consider asking for help from a counselor or a community of people who have gone through similar problems. You can get help in many ways, choose the one that best suits you.

If you are a religious person, you can go to a temple or church (depending on the religion) and talk to the monks and nuns. You may need to make an appointment, but usually there will always be someone there to talk to you.

You can also join online groups with people who are having similar problems. They may be able to help, sympathize, and even share methods you can apply to control yourself.

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Find ways to address your sexual needs in a healthier way. You shouldn't think about this without trying other methods, but finding a healthier way to relieve your sexual needs can help you kick the habit of watching porn. Find a partner who shares the same views on love and build a more satisfying sex life together. By keeping your sex life always rich, diverse, fresh and mutually satisfying, you will help eliminate many desires to watch porn products.

If you're in a relationship, you can try to spice up your sex life with your partner. You will need to really try, but it is worth it, right?

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Think of all the reasons to stop. For many people, keeping in mind the reasons they should stop will help limit bad behavior. If you have enough motivation, you will be able to control your desires. However, this will be most effective if you start by thinking about the reasons you watch porn. Often they help you meet unsatisfied needs. Think about those dissatisfactions so you can find reasons and ways to give up.

Think about the effects on your family. For many people, the influence of their pornography viewing habits on their wives, girlfriends or the fear that their children will watch them is enough to stop and help them control their habits. The same goes for you if you are young and living with your family. What would your little sister think if she accidentally saw what you were watching?

Think about your feelings and free time. For many people, they are more motivated when they clearly know about the negative effects of pornography on themselves. Studies have shown that 60% of men who stop watching pornography experience an increase in sexual performance. About two-thirds of them felt more energetic and productive. Your porn habit can take up a lot of your time, so think about what you can do with that time.

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Seek advice if this problem persists with you. If you really can't control yourself, think about seeing a doctor or a psychologist. Maybe your problem is bigger than you think, and if it's negatively affecting your life, it's important to find a solution.

Talk to your family doctor about the problem you're having. Even if they can't help, they can recommend professionals to help you.

You can also look for sites or groups that support sexual addiction treatment, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous or cainghientinduc.net. These sites and groups specialize in support for sex-related issues, they understand what you're going through and will have a way to help you.

Remember your parents, how would they react if they discovered this habit?

Helping others

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Do not judge. The first thing you should do when trying to help others stay away from pornography is to stop being judgmental. Don't look at things in a way that turns them into bad people because of their behavior. Sexual instinct is normal and very human. Even many religions believe that we have no right to judge others (that is the job of the Supreme Beings). Judging others is also not good because it will often cause them to reject what you are trying to do. Many people who are willing to change will become defensive if you judge them and will even become resistant to change.

Be calm when talking to them and avoid using judgmental language like: 'Why are you not at all like Mr. A?' or 'If you watch porn, you will become a pedophile!'. Don't assume other people's thoughts or compare them because such statements will silence them.

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Tell them about the things that worry you. It's best to start by telling them what you're worried about and why. Sometimes people won't realize they have a problem or how their problem may affect others. If you are truly open and sincere, you will most likely reach their thoughts and make them understand the problem.

Say something like: 'Hey, I know these are things you like, but I'm worried about how they affect you. There's more to life than that and now there are so many things he can do to make himself happy, but all his free time he spends sitting in his room. I want you to be able to live more than that.'

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Help them realize how harmful their behavior is. Use a variety of evidence and arguments, such as factual evidence, logical arguments, emotional arguments, and anything else that works. It's best to use a combination of arguments if you don't know how the person feels about the issue, just remember to avoid making them feel guilty. Maybe they themselves have been facing feelings of shame and your goal is to support, not make the situation worse.

For example, you could argue with logic like this: 'Think about how this changes the way you think about sex! He was gradually getting used to being able to change the person who satisfied him with just the click of a button. If you do that, it will be very difficult for you to have a satisfactory relationship in life in the future.'

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Give them new goals. Using a new behavior or activity to replace it is the best way to stop the old behavior. If you want someone to stop watching porn, give them something else to do. You can try:

Invite them to take a class together. Consider paying tuition for two people to take a cooking class together when they are most vulnerable to temptation.

Assign them housework. For example, if your son stays in his room for the rest of the day, assign him the task of walking the dog every day.

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Anticipate failures. Giving up the habit of watching pornography is a difficult task, it takes time and sometimes failure to overcome. You need to anticipate this failure so that both you and the person you are helping are not too disappointed by things. Frustration can lead to harshness, judgment and cause all efforts to go down the drain. Be mentally prepared that you will have to try and things will not change overnight. You can also ask others for help to persevere when you feel like you are not strong enough to try on your own.

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Freeing yourself from that thinking is your responsibility. You need to realize that, ultimately, you cannot be responsible for everything other people do. Whether you are trying to help someone, whether they are adults or are about to become adults to make their own decisions about their lives, it is a part of the world that they will be exposed to in one way or another, and they need to make their own decisions. I found a way to deal with it. If you get negative results after you've done everything you can to help them, that's their responsibility. You have done your best and no one has the right to ask for anything more from you.

Micah Soto

Update 25 October 2023