7 ways to improve soft skills and avoid awkward situations in life

Everyone has once or twice experienced difficult and weird situations in life. You are going to hug someone but they are just about to shake hands so you look like they're patting their backs. The date friend asked if you wanted vanilla or chocolate ice cream and for some reason, you told him about the time you vomited after eating vanilla. You may not be as clumsy as I thought, but the thought that you are weird is enough for you to behave lacking confidence. The tips below may help you be more confident and comfortable communicating with people instead of social fear. It is also important to remember that if the anxiety of contact with people affects your ability to interact on a daily basis, consider going to a counselor who can bring a variety of ways to help you overcome the problem.

1. Pay attention to the present

We are so used to multitasking - both in thought and in action - that it is so annoying to not recognize them and to make them talk. Eva Glasrud ​​writes: When you are with someone you are distracted by other thoughts or emotions, they will recognize. It may be that your eyes are not focused or you react slowly . Or even more clearly when you use the phone while still "listening" they say. That will make the talker sad, as if they are not important or you are not sincere to listen.

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The ability to concentrate is referred to here as mindfulness ( mindfullness - the ability to concentrate all emotions and minds). You can gradually improve this through practice such as focusing on the breath and emotions that you feel in each moment.

2. Focus on others

Jennifer McGinnis said: The best thing I've learned to improve my soft skills is to think of others instead of thinking about myself. Rather than worrying about how I'm doing, I'm more focused on thinking about how other people are feeling . Sometimes the person you are talking to is also feeling uncomfortable and realizing it can make you feel more relaxed.

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3. Behave according to the "if" criteria

In other words, just pretend until it turns into reality. Deborah Crawford writes: "If" behavior is a very good soft skill. How would it be if I behaved like this? Pretend you are the boss of any meeting and make people feel welcome, laugh, interact with your eyes and say hello.

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A study also suggests that you can change your emotions by changing behavior . For example, smiling can help you feel healthier and feel confident even if you are not confident that will actually help you feel more confident (or "power pose" method).

Watch for another 2 minutes to regain confidence to do anything

4. Practice and evaluation

Strange situations are like a vicious cycle. The worse you feel, the more difficult it is to talk to others and thus make you feel uncomfortable. That's why Jeremy Mifsud suggests that people should seek and engage intentionally different situations as a form of experimentation: The best way to improve soft skills is to put yourself in real situations. sacrifice . Then think about what you like and see if you want anything else in such situations.

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5. Participate in improvised classes

Hari Alipuria suggests those who often feel unnatural in social situations following his instructions in improvised theater sessions. "Most difficult situations are caused by you thinking too much. Many thoughts come from fear. The improvisation forces you to really participate in the present moment. Instead of thinking about yourself. , I really listen and continue the content based on what they say ".

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This is similar to McGinnis's idea that we should stop focusing on ourselves, about what might happen in the future and mistakes that happened in the past, above all, focus on conversation in the present.

6. Communicate with people with good soft skills

Ankit Sethi writes: I find that the best way to develop soft skills is to be friends, a relatively close friendship, with more open and communicative people than me. I went with them to events and they introduced me to new friends. Because of the connection with my friends, I don't have to start from zero - I actually have some kind of underground approval.

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Another plus is that they know how to handle conversations easily, giving you the option to participate when you have something to say or be silent when you don't want to. In the end, you feel comfortable when you can talk to people yourself without the "chat" people anymore.

7. Ask questions

Don't use everyday interactions as an opportunity to impose your values ​​and beliefs on others. Think about how to make them feel relaxed and give them the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings. Karen Engdahl says: Instead of trying to make your point, ask questions. Don't talk, don't feel like trying to fill the silence with gossip.

Author: Shana Lebowitz