4 tips to help you ask smart questions

Voltaire once said that judge a person through questions and not answers. So far, asking questions has become a very important skill to train every day if you want to be a good communicator.

Have you ever been judged by other people by asking questions? For example, when the employer asks if you have any questions in the interview, business situations, marriage or simply "fill in the blank"? Everyone can judge you if you don't know how to ask the right questions and to avoid this, what you need to do is train your questioning skills.

Smart and impressive questions will help you get feedback or answers you want to hear. Conversely, misleading or inappropriate for your communication situation will make you not only fail to get the information you need, but also make the other person misunderstand and worse judge you.

What do you want?

When asking questions, you must know what you want to receive back . More specifically, what information do you need to appear in the answer of the opposite person?

I used to have a few years working in the army. Because of the specific nature of our work, we often receive very smart reports. This comes from the fact that we need data, not others. We want accurate, true information. We do not need explanations.

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When asking questions, make sure your question is in a suitable context.

Sometimes, you want to know other people's views, for example, "what do you think of Cologne perfume?". Or like to get advice from a friend: "Do you think I should move to town to work?" . At this point, a clear question is a prerequisite for the opponent to understand what your will is and give an appropriate answer.

Once you have a grasp of what information you are going to collect and who to ask, you have to ask questions in a way that can get the best (most accurate) information. Like other skills, asking questions is also a skill to practice and here are a few techniques to help you conquer it.

1. Don't just ask "yes" or "no" questions

When asking "yes" or "no" questions, most, you will get incomplete information. Instead, ask open questions. As a result, you will get deeper ideas and more information that you may not know.

"Do you think .", "., right?", "Should ." be closed questions ("yes" or "no"). Conversely, using words to ask like "who", "what", "where", "when", "how" or "why" will help you get more complete answers because they are all open questions.

2. Ask questions that are deeper

Specifically, do not just ask a question but consider developing more follow-up questions. Except for a few cases that are facts that are hard to criticize, the rest, you can completely make assumptions stemming from the answers that the opponent has spoken. For example, you can ask "What makes you say that" or "Why do you think so?"

Suppose you are talking to a colleague and need to know details about a project. Colleagues say that one of the suppliers is in trouble and now, a kind of question like "What do you mean by saying that supplier is in trouble?" will help you find out the real reason.

3. Use the power of silence

Feel free to ask questions, wait patiently for the opponent's response, listen to the answers and continue to wait for more information.

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A lot of times the people you are asking are more detailed than you think and they are willing to say it if you find yourself waiting patiently. Be patient with the silence and you will get surprises.

Police and military negotiators always know how to use silence effectively. Because, they know that silence will urge the enemy to give more information to hide their fears and worries. Since then, more important information will gradually be revealed.

4. Don't interrupt

Do not interrupt the person you are talking to.First, this behavior will show that you do not appreciate what they are saying. Secondly, interrupting will also cause the flow of thoughts to be interrupted and though it will help the story take place in the direction you want, but the reality is not in the direction that the discussion should be developed.

At that time, ask questions and let the other person give the full answer they want, even if you think that is not what you need to get. Listen carefully to what they say and use this technique as a way to get them back to the topic in the next question you want to mention.

If time is tight and the speaker seems to be off topic, then you should definitely interrupt them. However, be polite to see your respect.