17 invaluable lessons that love has taught us
Love Love makes the Earth spin right? At least someone said that. But is that true for love in today's life? Love needs to be true, but many people confuse love with other things like jealousy or possessiveness. Originally true love is not those things, but 17 things below - invaluable lessons that love teaches us.
1. Love means ignoring your own expectations
Surely we all want people to behave the way we want. I want them to be more affectionate, friendly, intelligent or ambitious. All of these are my own expectations. Expect that these are just requests to " accept" love someone. However, true love has no expectation, simply " how to love it ".
2. Love does not play the victim or blame others
Love does not mean that others want to win it for selfish reasons and their lovers are wrong. Love is done together. Love takes full responsibility: forgiveness and allowing others' actions to be on the journey of their lives. In particular, love does not leave anything at all.
3. Love includes letting go
Love is not equal to possession. Like a maxim: " If you love something, give it freedom. If it comes back, it's yours. If you don't come back, it never belongs to you ." This is really true. Love gives people their own freedom. It didn't hold tightly and crushed its wings to hold them back. Because true love does not need possession, it is willing to pay you freedom if you want to.
4. Love does not require you to continue the relationship
Maybe you love someone very much but you don't fit them well or they can drive you crazy when you constantly underestimate your emotions. Or maybe you still love them, but that doesn't mean you have to be with them. By love does not mean you have to stay, stay and stay. You can end the relationship and continue to love them. Always remember, love is happiness, gratitude and love.
5. Love has no room for jealousy
Just like possession, jealousy cannot match love. We often think that if we don't envy people we love, we don't love them. However, in reality, true love has confidence in the quality of the relationship. That tells you that the person is happy, happy and will come back to you, and only you.
6. Love has no place for fear
You can put all your emotions on a continuous graph axis. At one end, you have love. Next is gratitude, joy, happiness, satisfaction and satisfaction. And in the opposite direction of love is fear, including emotions like hatred, insecurity, jealousy or greed.
7. Love is not needed and wants
One of the things we often teach children has a clear difference between what they want and what they need . Need someone who is emotional based on fear, you fear that you can't live without them, so you need them. But remember, fear is opposite to love. Want someone in your life, give them the freedom to leave but still show them that you love them.
8. Love is action, not just feeling
We humans tend to be addicted to intense emotions - especially when it feels good. So when we are in love, we want to feel that way forever. But do you believe that emotions higher than " 9 clouds " will only disappear for a moment? It does not mean that you do not love him, it is only love that is not as new as the beginning. That's when we need to act, show the person that you love them. Don't just assume that they know it.
9. Love is unconditional
The term " unconditional " means that no expectations or limits are set. Unconditional love is a very difficult thing and most people are not good at this. But in fact, true love is no need to try to change the person you love. [7 ways to practice unconditional love you need to know]
10. Put others' needs on par or in front of their own needs
While people may be inherently selfish for survival purposes, this is not beneficial to us in emotional relationships. If you don't put the needs of others at least as much as your needs, they will resent. True love cares about the happiness of other people voluntarily and will do the best things to make others feel valued.
11. Love is the highest emotional emotion
Science has proved that emotions like love and fear have different vibrations. People can really measure them. Love vibrates very quickly, while fearful emotions ( jealousy, resentment, selfishness, greed . ) are very slow to vibrate. When you love sincerely and unconditionally, there is no fear involved, the vibration of love always makes you feel good.
12. Love focuses on quality, not quantity
Love focuses on the quality of the relationship, not its life. Surely you've heard the sentence: " I'd rather love once and break up, rather than never be loved"! Just because your relationship lasts doesn't mean you have true love. True love can be very short. Therefore, in love quality and quantity are not the same. True love cares about the happiness of others.
13. Love needs mutual attention
Love does not ignore, does not look in the other direction to be expressed and exist together. When people love, sometimes they think they don't need to " do anything more ". But true love really needs to care about that person, feel comfortable and not consider caring about him as a chore.
14. Love is understanding and accepting differences
Let's face it. We are all different. Even twins are not exactly the same. They have different experiences and views about the world. True love does not make him feel wrong because of that difference. When people really love someone, they will accept all the differences.
15. Love is distinguished by expression and acceptance
Things that make us " feel loved " are different. In the book " The Five Love Languages " by Gary Chapman, he explains the different ways of giving and receiving love: (1) Words , (2) Act of serving, (3) Giving gifts, (4) Spending time together, and (5) Contacting. Exploring his love language is very important so that you can understand and give love in a way that he can recognize.
16. Love makes you feel good, not bad
Many people often confuse a relationship with love. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean there's a true love. If there is jealousy, possessiveness, constant quarrels, insults ( verbal, emotional or physical ), then it is not love. Let's go back to lesson 6 - Love has no place for fear . Those things are emotions and actions that are fearful.
17. Love has sympathy
Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others to consider the situation in their perspective. Love has deep sympathy. " When you are in pain, I am in pain ." People who really love each other don't want to hurt each other. They want the other person to feel happy. They care about each other's feelings and try to do everything so that the other person feels loved and worthy. Always remember, love is happiness, gratitude, and joy. Anything else is not love. If we all love each other as we love ourselves, this world will be a wonderful place!
Refer to some more articles:
- 25 things women say often make men misunderstand
- 7 ways to practice unconditional love you need to know
- 13 key principles for a lasting, lasting love
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