Pursuing happiness will not make you feel happy!

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When we talk about happiness , we will probably think about how to make ourselves happy - every day, every minute without any negativity. We try to pursue the unchanging state of " happiness " as the great goal of life and to avoid anything that can take that away from our lives.

But what is the meaning of this " happiness " type? It's like your favorite food. The more food you like doesn't mean that is good.

On the other hand, when you have only one chance to eat your favorite food sparingly, you can really enjoy its taste in every bite. So, does food make you feel happy or is it worth making you feel happy when you eat?

We should remember that only when we experience sadness do we really understand what happiness is!

Given that others are always happy is the biggest misunderstanding of happiness

Most of us often only look at people who seem to have a perfect life, guessing that they are always happy. From childhood, we are facilitated to pursue the concept of " happiness ever after ", which we often see in fairy tales.

On social networks, people tend to share only the best aspects of their lives ( including us ). So it's easy for people to have a distorted view of ' happiness ' around us.

In fact, there are always losses, deprivation and unpleasant things

Nobody has a perfect life. Even the beautiful celebrities or the richest billionaires in the world, everyone has to overcome their own hardships, challenges and solve their own problems.

When we feel negative, we often only pay attention to unusual small problems. As CEO of Lifehack , I - the author of the article had to solve a multitude of problems, there were problems that made me feel like these were real obstacles. During that moment, I really felt that these problems would affect my life, my company and my goals. But then I passed it, the weeks, months and years passed with many ups and downs.

You need to keep your observation in a higher position, in a larger range . Now, when I look back I see a lot of " really big " issues at the time just like " splitting explosions " in a long, experienced period. And now when I remember them, I just smile!

Stop trying to be happy. Just like that!

Obviously we all want happiness as much as possible. So what can we do? First, throw away the notion that a perfect life means happiness. I would personally feel miserable if everything is perfect. It is from experiencing the pain of life's challenges, which makes us care for others when they are going through the same difficulties.If life is perfect, you won't be able to sympathize . If life is perfect, you will not grow up.

To be truly happy, stop pursuing eternal happiness. That sounds like a paradox. I mean, you accept that there will be ups and downs in life . Understand that happiness is the arduousness of intermingling between positive and negative.

Understand the importance of gratitude . Instead of taking care of the unhappy moments of the present, rewind the memories of things you already have or didn't have something.

For example, I like to think about my work. When I don't have a job that I can earn, I often feel lost and resigned. I feel people are learning about their lives, and I don't. However, when I found my goal and started working at Lifehack, I was really happy, even before I realized I would succeed! This moment made me motivated to move forward when facing difficult challenges.

1. True happiness is not in others but in ourselves!

Happiness and pain always exist together

Obviously, your life will be filled with beautiful, fun and wonderful moments. Happy tears, happy screams and hilarious stories. But your life will also be full of rain and storms, they never seem to pass away when you go through.

However, if you are warmed by the sun or your heart is wet by rains, know that all these are part of the ups and downs and the flow of life.Cherish those happy and powerful moments that overcome painful moments.

Don't try to avoid ' sad ' or ' negative ' experiences and don't blindly pursue ' happiness '. Eventually you will receive a proper level of satisfaction for your life, based on your meaningful experiences and achievements. Being able to grow and know how to live with positive and negative things - that is the true meaning of 'happiness'.

Author: Leon Ho

Leon Ho is the founder and CEO of Lifehack, which began operations in 2005 as a way to share personal skills and work experience to make life easier.

See more: Understand these 5 psychological problems, your life will become happier!

Having fun!