Being a boss must accept being lonely

If you don't set expectations for your team, pushing employees out of their safety circle, making everyone responsible for your job is losing you as a leader. Trying to be everyone's best friend is basically a selfish act.

When I first started working, I worked for someone who always looked down on my staff. No matter what you do, he can't be satisfied.

When the spirit of the group is affected, I spend more time decoding his behavior. In the end, I couldn't understand what made him act like that.

That memory left a deep impression on me. Years later, when I opened a company, I promised myself that I would never become such a leader. I want to foster an environment in which people feel empowered, appreciated and really happy to be part of the group.

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However, when I tried to avoid creating a malicious environment as I mentioned earlier, I ended up going too far in another direction. I want to be friends with my staff . This made me avoid conflict, set vague expectations but failed again.

Finally, I realized that: Employees need a leader, not a friend .

There is no need to become everyone's best friend

Being a leader is very similar to being a parent. When you are a parent, you love your child so much that you want to give them whatever they want. The temptation is, over time, with spoiled by gifts, they will somehow love you more.

However, the fact that being a parent is not a game or a joke. It is to nurture your child to become a strong, respected and successful person in the future. This requires discipline, dedication and difficult decisions. If you want the best for your child, you need to behave like a parent first and as friends later.

This logic also applies to managing a group. As a leader, it can be very good if the group is relaxed, relaxed and happy. You are seen as a " fun boss " of everyone. However, just like being a parent, being a leader requires more than that. You cannot help people grow, grow without promoting them.

If you don't set expectations for your team, pushing employees out of their safety circle , making everyone responsible for your job is losing you as a leader. Trying to be everyone's best friend is basically a selfish act .

Avoiding conflicts only makes things worse

Nobody wants to do wrong. When an act causes disappointment or deviation from expectations, it is often due to differences in knowledge or awareness. Avoiding conflicts always only makes the situation worse.

Instead, leaders must make their expectations really clear, even if they cause discomfort. For example, in our company, working time is relatively flexible. If a member wants to work from 8:30 to 17:30, that's not the problem. However, I have a few employees who, because of their particular job, need to come to the office at 8 o'clock.

Previously, I struggled with this problem. First of all, I always hope that everyone will understand and do it right. Second, I hate double standards. That's why I didn't tell anyone what I expected. However, this cowardice is not effective at all.

Now what I need is to talk to the members, explain the situation and expect some people to come to the office on time. And then everything went into orbit like I wanted. I thought I was silent so that the staff could understand and avoid conflict but it turned out to be a mistake and disappointment.

Accept loneliness

People still applauded the pyramid-shaped leadership model, where the king sat on the summit and was supported, taken care of by countless people below. However, the real leadership model is inverted pyramid: The whole organization relies on a single leader to support their efforts.

The fact that being a boss must accept being lonely . You are defaulted to the type of name in the employee gatherings. Being a leader means putting others ahead of yourself and putting the group before everyone. This requires discipline, sacrifice and courage.

If you do the right things for individuals and collectives, sometimes you're still hated. It is simply because your employees need leadership, not friends .