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How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession

It can be difficult to admit that you have a problem. If you have arrived on this page, then it is likely you are feeling the discomfort associated with obsessing over a celebrity. Perhaps you might be feeling ashamed or odd for being...
Method 1 of 3:

Analyzing the Situation

  1. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 1How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 1
    Examine who this person is by identifying the qualities that are appealing to you. It's time to sit down and make a list. You have connected with this person for some reason. Physical attraction is likely not the only reason you find yourself drawn to him or her.
    1. Many times we see qualities in celebrities that are not present in our own lives, but we wish they were. Perhaps they demonstrate kindness to everyone they see, and you feel most people in your life are not kind.
    2. You need to remember that celebrities are showing the world a persona – an ideal masked version – of themselves minus their more fundamental and true character traits. You don't usually see them having a bad day or a private moment. It may ruin the image / personal brand they have been working to build.
  2. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 2How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 2
    Determine what impact your obsession is having on other relationships in your life. Obsessions are considered abnormal because they negatively impact a person's capacity to love and to be a productive member of society.[1] Your mind can become so crowded with thoughts about a celebrity that you have little room for anything else.
    1. Are you isolating yourself instead of participating in events?
    2. Are you quick-tempered with family or friends when you hear that your obsession has done something that upsets you?
    3. Are you feeling depressed or anxious around others and escape to privacy in order to reconnect with the object of your obsession? These are common emotions for those with a celebrity obsession.[2]
  3. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 3How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 3
    Analyze why you think you have this obsession. According to research, celebrity obsessions can serve two functions: companionship and personal identity.[3] Do you feel lonely and in need of someone who understands you? Or, perhaps you like the way the celebrity handles himself or herself and you want to be like him or her.
    1. Clinical psychologists think of obsessions as fixations with an object, person or activity. Obsession in the psychological sense is defined as a continual thought, concept, picture or urge which is experienced as invasive and not proper, and results in significant fear, distress or discomfort.[4]
  4. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 4How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 4
    Ask yourself, when you experience thoughts and feelings about this celebrity, are they anchored in reality? Do you imagine yourself hanging out with the celebrity; but truly believe it would happen? Do you pretend to know what they are thinking about a certain person or situation? Have you forgotten that you can't read people's minds?
    1. Have you had significant one-on-one meaningful interactions with this person that would allow a healthy relationship to develop? If you haven't, then you must come to terms with the fact that you have imagined the relationship to be something far exceeding an 'ordinary' connection.
    2. Researcher and professor, Brian Spitz berg, at San Diego State University's School of Communication indicates that social media communications with celebrities via Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram can cause a fan to feel unique, as if the celebrity is speaking only to that person. This can leave you feeling confused.
    3. Relationships that are one-sided are considered to be para-social, meaning one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence.[5] Celebrity obsessions most always fall into this category.
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    Establish how obsessing over this person is helping you meet your needs. We all have emotional needs that we want and need to have met: the need to be loved; the need to belong; the need for safety are just a few. Are you satisfied by your obsession to the point that you forego opportunities to find satisfaction in authentic human interactions?
    1. Introspection is the process of directly attempting to access your own internal processes.[6] When you figure out how and why you react to the people and things around you, you will be able to help yourself solve many personal struggles. Only you can do the work that it takes to find the answers to these questions. Analysis can be difficult, but it can put you on a clear path toward change.
Method 2 of 3:

Bringing on the Change

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    Identify the level of your obsession. If you've been honest with yourself to this point, then you can probably determine the degree to which you are obsessed. It is beneficial to know in which category you would place yourself. The more aware you are of your own behaviors, the more likely it is that you are ready to make a change in your thoughts and interpretations. [7]
    1. Research studies have identified three independent dimensions of celebrity worship. Of these three, where would you place yourself?:
    2. A. Entertainment-social: relates to attitudes where individuals are attracted to a celebrity because of their perceived ability to entertain and to become a social focus of conversation with like-minded others.
    3. B. Intense-personal: relates to individuals that have intensive and compulsive feelings about a celebrity.
    4. C. Borderline pathological: relates to individuals who display uncontrollable behaviors and fantasies relating to a celebrity.[8]
  2. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 7How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 7
    Seek professional help to identify the behaviors you would like to change if you are struggling to do it yourself. Psychologists and psychiatrists are available in your local area and can be located through the American Psychological Association[9] and the American Psychiatric Association.[10]
  3. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 8How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 8
    Sign a behavioral contract and have a family member or friend witness it. This contract will allow you to spell out your goals and time frames. Signing the document symbolizes your commitment to making a change and releasing yourself from your celebrity obsession.[11]
  4. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 9How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 9
    Expand your interests. Life becomes unbalanced at times. If you are getting too much of one thing, then it is likely you are limiting yourself to possibilities. If you spend the majority of your day, week, or month obsessing over a celebrity, you are missing a lot of potentially worthwhile experiences.
    1. In the days of worldwide education available 24/7, you could explore a new subject every day of the year and never run out of material, and never run out of things to do or people to meet.
    2. Identify three activities you would like to learn more about or participate in. You won't know if you like something unless you try. These will provide healthy distractions and will help you build new and meaningful relationships with others.
    3. Inform family members and friends that you are trying to find new things to do to learn more about the world. If you are comfortable with telling them about trying to stop your obsession, then do. People may give you suggestions that you haven't thought of.
Method 3 of 3:

Creating a Balanced Life

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    Calculate how many hours you spend on-line. Many people spend a significant amount of time in the virtual world of computers and in the social media space focused solely on a celebrity. This can make it difficult to develop a set of healthy social skills to participate in real social interaction.
    1. Studies have shown that people who learn social skills experience positive effects in social-emotional development and behavior.
  2. How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 11How to Get over a Celebrity Obsession Picture 11
    Determine if you need to stop all activities associated with the focus of your obsession. Some people work best abruptly stopping all activities, (cold turkey) and others need to gradually reduce their exposure. Whichever you decide, you will need to have a strategy in place to increase your chances of achieving your goal.
    1. A study in the British Journal of Health Psychology found that people who state their intention about achieving their goal far exceed control groups who do not.[12]
    2. Pick a day to start. Giving yourself a deadline will help you focus your efforts.
    3. Make sure you have supportive family and friends in place.
    4. Get rid of the items that remind you of your obsession. This may involve boxing items and giving them away, or storing them in an attic or garage. This will help you ceremoniously condense and 'put away' your thoughts and feelings and set you on a new path. In this way, you are also removing potential triggers.
    5. If you slip up and find yourself back in the thick of the obsession, make some adjustments in the areas that were difficult and start again. You are allowed.
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    Limit yourself to a reasonable amount of time to keep up to date with the celebrity's accomplishments (example: 30 minutes per month).With Americans consuming an average of approximately fifteen and a half hours per person per day of both traditional and digital media, you will likely experience some surprise coverage. Just roll with it.
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    Meet new people by joining groups, volunteering, or working. It is possible for you to find people who will meet your needs that are willing and able to form real relationships with you. There are hundreds of opportunities to help others, and everyone knows you feel good when you do. If you want to cope better with the stress of trying to make personal change, then serve others.[13]
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    Create a balance between time spent in human-to-human, face-to-face social situation, and on-line situations. Life is meant to be fully experienced. Limiting yourself to only the on-line world won't allow you to build the authentic life you desire and deserve.[14]
    1. In all probability you will create and enjoy your incredible life without the help of a celebrity. They are probably too busy, and so are you.
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