Why do so many people like to say bad things behind others?

Why do many people do not speak directly but speak behind others? Is it because they don't have the confidence to say what they want to say? Please join us in the article below!

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Many of us are in the habit of " talking badly behind others " as if it is one of our favorite habits every day and cannot be tolerated without doing so. Why don't we speak directly to them but speak behind our backs? Is it because we don't have the confidence to say what we want to say?

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Last year, I - the author of the article - got a translation job at an online network company. My department has about 20 people and they come from different places. Some of them are quite far away, while others can walk to work. I quickly integrated with the new work environment, took the job and started working. After a while, I have achieved certain results. So my boss often praised and encouraged me to try harder.

But life does not always happen the way we want. One day, I found out that someone in the room often said bad things behind my back to other colleagues. He said that I kept failing to complete the task on time and did not contribute to the recent projects. He said: ' She is always praised for her relationship with her bosses .' He spread this news to everyone in the company and soon, I was considered a ' flatterer '.

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Fortunately, the manager always believed in my ability to work, she organized a meeting to clarify everything. Even though she didn't know the name of the person who spread the rumors all over the company, I think that's enough. Because after that, everyone changed the way I think about me. They respect and treat me very well.

Why do people often like to say bad things behind others?

Most of us also talk behind others in a positive or negative way . At first, stories can take place in a good way. We can share about family, personal life but when it comes to business affairs, we often easily fall into the bad word about someone in the company who works better than us. . We excitedly told them all of their mistakes, then came to the conclusion that perhaps what they achieved could not reflect their true capabilities. We even confidently compare their bad sides with our own faces and feel ourselves better than them.

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There is one saying: ' There are 2 types of people in the world: people divide the world into two types of people and people do not do that '. There are many people in the first group, who will divide people all over the world into two groups: ' people who look like you ' and ' people who don't like you '. In fact, each of us often seeks people like us and eliminates those who are not like us. Here are some reasons why some people like to speak so badly to others :

1. Lower others to bring yourself up

Many people speak ill of others just because they are jealous of the achievements that others achieve . Therefore, in every way we always want to reduce the success of others by spreading false rumors about power or revealing their private lives to colleagues. In doing so, we feel that we are comforted and seem better than others.

For example, we can start with sentences like: 'He got into this school but he heard that he had to get help from his parents ',' He is an excellent employee but life marriage is not happy ',' She was promoted but not sure because she has real ability '. It seems that we often recognize other people's abilities but add the word' but 'to Turn over what we have acknowledged.

2. Trading stories is a hobby

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Gossip is one of the most common bad habits at work. Gossip can last for hours with a multitude of different topics, such as family, love, relationships, work, fashion or even movies. We often point out opinions, personal opinions, judge positively or negatively and never run out of things to do.

Talking behind other people when gossiping is unavoidable. Because when the story is going to climax we want to raise our opinion instead of repressing them in our hearts, like an inertia.

See more: If you don't know how to be "yourself", read this article!

3. Don't know how to keep secrets

Have you ever fallen into a situation of telling a secret story to colleagues and the next morning to work, the whole company knows or not? Surely then you swear that never share anything for that person again?

Sharing your own secrets with others can be a good idea to seek empathy or emotional relief. However, be cautious because it is likely that when you go beyond your colleague, they will use that secret to lower you in front of others.

The danger of speaking ill behind others

Saying badly behind others is an extremely dangerous habit. Without resolutely eliminating this negative habit, it will most likely turn you into a bad person and ruin your reputation.

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1. Destroy trust

Trust is the fundamental foundation for all relationships. Mutual trust will help us understand each other better, our feelings are tightened and we are ready to share everything.

When either person speaks badly about others, trust will also begin to loosen up. Sooner or later, emotions are cracked and no one will be happy.

2. Turn us into envy

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Saying badly to others once it becomes a habit will increase the envy of our hearts more and more, making our hearts dark and hard to think positively.

If you do not recognize the efforts and talents of others, there will be one day no one will acknowledge your ability and you may fall into isolation, no matter how good you are.

A 2011 study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology found that people will be less loved and trusted when they talk about other people.

3. Reduce productivity and work efficiency

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Talking badly about colleagues will increase the conflict, divide people in the office, leading to lessening people's will and productivity from then.

When you spend a lot of time thinking about others, you will be distracted by your will, reducing your will for work and not doing anything completely.

See also: These are 7 common mistakes that prevent you from achieving your life goals

4. In the long run, people will hate you

Nothing is worse when everything is exposed to the light, people will realize that you are just a gossip, like to speak ill behind your back and lower others. Nobody likes to be friends with such a person.

So what to do to eliminate the habit of saying bad things behind others?

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1. Give direct and polite comments

If you want to comment or comment on what others do, be brave to speak directly in front of them. Set up an appointment, call or email and present what you want to say. After doing this, absolutely don't talk to others. Remember to only reveal the story to the people involved who will be responsible or will solve the problem together.

2. Practice the habit of praising people

If you used to criticize others often, rarely praising anyone and now want to change, start praising a lot, sincerely and truthfully. Make it a daily routine.

3. Limit participation in gossip groups

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If you want to give up something, make sure you have removed everything related to it. For example, if you want to stop eating junk food, don't buy snacks home or go to fast food shops. If you are still in contact with any of the relevant actors, your chances of being infected are huge.

In this case, if you want to give up the bad habit, criticize the back of others, limit the conversation with those who like to talk, except for work reasons. Instead of meeting, you can email or hand over the work through teamwork and project management applications. Over time you will see very positive changes.

Saying badly to others will ruin your relationship, reputation and career. So, put an end to that bad habit from today to preserve what you have.

See also: True happiness is not in others but in ourselves!

Having fun!